We Just Drifted Apart
Have you heard “We Just Drifted Apart” as being a “reason” for divorce? I’m sure I’ve heard it dozens of times.
To me this statement is made like it is something seemingly ”inevitable” that just “happens” without cause.
Does this statement seem to you to be made almost as a “non-blaming” way of describing what happened without either party taking responsibility?
I know from my experience with the hundreds of couples that call for an appointment for their marriage, they often feel like the above.
“It” seemed to happen without them realizing it was happening.
Normally they are actually calling because something serious has happened that made them wake up to the fact and at least one of the partners really wants to re-connect.
Is Re-Connecting Possible?
You may be wondering where to start or whether or not your marriage can come alive again after “drifting apart?” I’ve seen re-connection happen over and over!
Yes, there is great hope for your Re-Connection!
My standard questions are:
“What was it you first noticed about each other that made you want to know that person better?”
“What did you use to do for fun?”
“When was the last time you just had fun together?”
Sadly, about 98% cannot recall easily when they last had fun together.
My solution?
Start making time for one another! Do regular dates nights. Take turns planning your next date doing something you will both enjoy. Weekly date nights are best, but every other week is a good start.
Show your spouse you are still in your marriage and are ready to support them and you still want to make things work. Regular date nights are a great way to demonstrate this!
Following are tips to help strengthen your marriage. But first, check out my FREE eBook to Divorce-Proof Your Marriage!
Have fun!
At this point in your life, you may want to pick up on things you used to love doing together and hopefully add some brand new things you have never done before to keep up the excitement and interest.
Date Night is NOT the time to discuss problems.
Those can go on the list for your next counseling or coaching session or if not too hot, at your calendar and/or budget planning meeting.
This Date Night is a time to have fun together! You can also talk about old fun times if you’d like or look at old fun pics together or talk about old and new dreams and plans for the future.
Until next time…
Waverly Hanson
Marriage Counselor & Author
In my personal life, I have had a long successful marriage and have remarried following my husband's death. I have had three sons and helped raise a niece for three years and have seven grandchildren. I have loved spending time with them as they were growing up.
I also enjoy getting together with family and friends, ATVing in the mountains, photography, hiking, and traveling. I also enjoy reading, creating art, decorating, and serving others by volunteering.
Assisting couples in rebuilding their marriages has been so rewarding as I've had the privilege of seeing hundreds of couples reunite and get back to being positively connected to one another.
I also work with personal development and those who want to move forward by making positive improvements such as goal setting, self-care, boundaries, behavioral improvements, overcoming procrastination, conflict management, etc.