An Expert’s Guide to Keeping the Flame of Your Marital Love Blazing – Waverlys

Several of the things I have learned through my 30 plus years of listening , counseling and coaching is that marriage requires a lot of self-awareness and tuning into our partners needs as well as our own.

Along with these requirements, of course, we are always keeping our commitment to loving each other while making sincere efforts to understand as well as accept one another.

Sure, when you are first in love or a newlywed, everything feels easy or like “a piece of cake” while gaining new experiences and making good memories walking down life’s lane together. However, once you are past the honeymoon phase and the rose-colored lens is lost, then reality starts to kick in.

As time passes by and you get to know your significant other fully, there are going to be days when you might feel as if you are losing the spark in your marriage or falling out of love. This is often a time when clients confide that they were afraid or worried that they’d married the wrong person.  They are truly relieved when learning that is just a normal stage of settling into their long term relationship.

At this point, you will find yourself wondering how to keep your marriage alive. Though challenging and definitely not without its own unique intricacies, it is not impossible to do so. In this blog, we will discuss some tips and strategies that can help you with keeping your marriage alive and thriving.

  1. Communication is the key

Communication is the foundation of any successful relationship, and it’s especially important in a marriage. One thing that I can’t emphasize upon enough is that communication involves not only talking but also listening. You may find it easier to tune out your partner’s concerns and pleas but nothing can be as detrimental to marriage as that. It is a fact that not everyone is a good listener naturally, but fortunately listening is more of an acquired skill. Make an effort to really listen to your partner’s concerns and opinions. Learn what is on your partner’s mind and in their heart. When it comes to expressing yourself, express your own thoughts, concerns and opinions in a clear and respectful way. Effective communication can help you resolve conflicts, prevent misunderstandings, and stay connected with each other.

  1. Make time for each other

Post-pandemic life has evolved immensely. With everybody going back to work and life getting back to normal, everybody is busy. Schedules are becoming more hectic than ever in an attempt to catch up on the lost opportunities. Throw a kid or two in the mix, we know it would make Spending  quality time together seem impossible. However, remember quality time and fun are not negotiable but vital to the success and enjoyment of your marriage.

It’s so very important to make time for each other in the midst of busy schedules, work, and other responsibilities. Whether it’s a weekly date night, a weekend getaway, or just a few minutes of quality time each day, make an effort to connect with your partner.  Use this time to talk, laugh, and enjoy each other’s company. Think of when you initially started dating your spouse along with the characteristics you first enjoyed so much about one another.

  1. Keep things fresh

It is so easy to fall into a routine in marriage, but so very important to keep things fresh and exciting. The simplest answer to how to keep a marriage fresh is to keep on experimenting and trying something new. Try new activities together, explore new hobbies, or take a trip to a new place. This can help you create new memories and experiences, and keep the spark alive in your relationship.

  1. Show affection

Grand gestures and splurging on special occasions such as birthdays, Valentines or anniversaries are brilliant. Your partner deserves to be pampered but what we often neglect is understanding that small gestures of affection can go a long way in keeping a marriage alive. Hold hands, hug, kiss and cuddle. These physical gestures can help you feel more connected and loved. Even a simple I love you can make a big difference in your partner’s day. When was the last time that you asked your partner about their day and listened and responded?  If you can’t remember when you did that, maybe it’s about time you start doing it?

  1. Practice forgiveness

No one is perfect, and mistakes are bound to happen in any relationship. Learning to forgive and move on can help you maintain a healthy marriage. Holding onto grudges and resentment can cause a rift in your relationship. Instead, try to understand your partner’s perspective and work together to resolve any issues.  As long as we remember we all need forgiveness at times, it makes it easier to extend it to our partners!

  1. Support each other

Supporting each other through good times and bad is an important part of any marriage. Be there for your partner when they need you, and encourage them to pursue their dreams and passions. This can help you build a strong foundation of trust and respect in your relationship.

  1. Practice gratitude

Expressing gratitude can help you appreciate your partner and the positive aspects of your relationship. Take time each day to express your gratitude for your partner’s support, love, and kindness. This can help you focus on the positive aspects of your relationship, and build a stronger bond.

  1. Keep the romance alive

Romance doesn’t have to fade with time. Keep the romance alive in your marriage by doing things like sending or leaving love notes in unusual places like the windshield or bathroom mirror, planning surprise dates, or cooking a special meal together. These and other romantic gestures can help you stay connected and in love.

  1. Learn your partner’s love language:

A love language is a way in which individuals express and experience love. According to Gary Chapman, there are five love languages: words of affirmation, acts of service, receiving gifts, quality time, and physical touch. By identifying and learning your partner’s love language, you can communicate your love to them in a way that resonates with them on a deep emotional level.

Learning your partners love language is not only about expressing love, but it is also about understanding how they express love. By recognizing and appreciating the ways in which your partner expresses love, you will feel loved and appreciated in return. By incorporating your partners love language into your daily routine you can strengthen your bond and deepen your connection. It can also help you avoid misunderstandings and conflicts, as you are communicating love in a way that resonates with your partner.

  1. Seek help when needed

Sometimes, despite our best efforts, marriages can run into trouble. If you and your partner are struggling with your relationship, don’t be afraid to seek this positive help!


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The Take-Home Message:

Marriage is a wonderful union between two people who love and cherish each other. However, keeping a marriage alive and healthy can be a challenge, especially with the ups and downs of daily life. It requires effort and dedication, but the rewards are well worth it. By practicing good communication, making time for each other, showing affection, practicing forgiveness, keeping things fresh, supporting each other, practicing gratitude, keeping the romance alive, and seeking help when needed, your marriage will blossom into a beautiful partnership and you can maintain a healthy and happy marriage!