Who wouldn’t want to make their marriage happier and could use a marriage tip or two. When you begin to set aside time for each other again, as well as yourself, you’ll be amazed at the dramatic difference it makes.
However, often when we get so busy with life’s responsibilities, we eventually can turn into robots just going through the motions of taking care of all life’s responsibilities and seldom taking time for fun or for taking good care of ourselves.
Often, neither husband or wife are being very aware of their own needs or the needs of their mate because they have fallen into the treadmill of life duties.
I often see very responsible hard-working couples who are great people but they are totally stressed out and have stopped nurturing either themselves or their partner. At times, simply having fun together and having date nights have become just a memory from the distant past!
When I am starting to work with a couple, it is not at all unusual for couples to look at each other in puzzlement when I ask about their last date nights. It has often been so long they really don’t remember.
For many couples, the self-care concept is a foreign topic. Many years ago, it was foreign to me as well. I just put my own needs aside as other things appeared to be so much more important. Why? I think it was because self-care can sound pretty selfish like it’s just all about yourself.
It is challenging to keep life in balance. We all need to have boundaries and limits whether or not we want to recognize that need. Your marriage will be so much happier as you tune in to your own needs to be aware of your limits and create boundaries. Many of us want to think we can do it all.
Making out a schedule for recharging will help keep you off the treadmill! Having a schedule keeps you aware of your need to build in the fun times along with the relaxing times. This way you have reserves to draw on by relaxing and also by having fun with your partner and your family.
Do you regularly process things together and nurture both yourselves and each other? Obviously, you won’t do that unless you trust one another. I strongly encourage couples to re-connect with one another ideally 2 – 4 times daily! You and I, of course, want to feel loved and cared about. Unfortunately, if you aren’t practicing good self-care, you won’t have much left to give to the person you say you love and want to spend your life with.
After you have been together for a while, it becomes natural to have a tendency to take each another for granted and stop doing those little things that mean so much.
Some of the things that make your marriage happier are connecting when you first awaken, connecting when you are leaving for the day, or starting your workday at home.
When you finish for the day, taking time to connect by greeting one another again with a longer than usual hug saying something like I’m so glad we found each other! Giving an unexpected compliment can make both of you feel special. Even simply giving a longer or tighter hug than usual can make a big difference. Also taking the time to share in the evening is so good for you both. Remember, if you go to bed at different times it is important to always say Good Night and wish one another a good rest.
These little things can make a huge difference in whether or not you feel close to one another and actually connected. Be watching and listening for positive or humorous things to share in the evening can make this time fun instead of turning into a gripe session. Also, it is likely that if your mate is actually listening and responding to your needs, it will make a lot of difference. (Hint: the TV and other media need to be off or at least down very low.)
Following are tips to help strengthen your marriage. But first, check out my products related to marriage health.
Intentionally manage your input. Obviously, taking breaks from news updates and social media to feed your soul with uplifting things such as sayings that are uplifting, perhaps scriptures, and music that you enjoy.
How are you taking care of yourself physically? When you walk or run or even workout with a video it will make a difference both physically, emotionally, and mentally. Are you eating healthily and staying hydrated and taking required medications?
Humor can really help during the hard times as well. Be on the alert to notice funny things you can share when you are back together later in the day.
Yet another way to make your marriage happier is to have someone such as a trusted friend give you honest feedback of what they see in your choices of time and energy spent. Skills like learning to say No kindly and graciously without guilt is one very important one. It is also a very common malady that affects much of our population. You will find some practical help on this process on my website.
Do you hold realistic or impossible expectations of your spouse and family? If you are doing that, you will always feel unrealistic or pseudo guilt. I know way too much about that. As the oldest child, I had impossible goals along with my To-Do Lists! I’ve cut way back on lists, but still often make too long a list…but so much better and now I no longer feel guilty about it as I know myself better.
Marriage Counselor & Author
In my personal life, I have had a long successful marriage and have remarried following my husband's death. I have had three sons and helped raise a niece for three years and have seven grandchildren. I have loved spending time with them as they were growing up.
I also enjoy getting together with family and friends, ATVing in the mountains, photography, hiking, and traveling. I also enjoy reading, creating art, decorating, and serving others by volunteering.
Assisting couples in rebuilding their marriages has been so rewarding as I've had the privilege of seeing hundreds of couples reunite and get back to being positively connected to one another.
I also work with personal development and those who want to move forward by making positive improvements such as goal setting, self-care, boundaries, behavioral improvements, overcoming procrastination, conflict management, etc.