You know the old adage about answering your question with another question? Well, here goes, I just have to ask one to start this big subject.
That first question is: Is it just your marriage that is boring? Or could it be that your life itself has become very boring and no fun right now?
There are times in life that we just get into that “go to work, come home eat and do nothing worthwhile or instead work all evening until bedtime, go to sleep and then get up the next day and just do it all over again.”
I can get bored and tired just writing about this. We’ve all been there. The responsibilities of life at times can just take all of us over without even noticing it.
At those points, you have nothing to look forward to, you are not taking time to do anything enjoyable, fun or relaxing anymore. It is so very easy to just let life’s duties take over especially when we are in a period of many responsibilities.
Nearly all of the couples who come to see me for help with their marriages are in this situation. It is so easy to believe something is wrong or boring with your marriage, when actually by that point, neither of you are taking time for yourselves individually or for your couple relationship…so life has become very flat and boring.
Sometimes, this making time for fun requires you to take a look at all the commitments you’ve already made. Many of these commitments can be negotiated. Which of the items on your calendar are as important as spending time taking care of yourself and your relationships and values.
You and your spouse each need time to recharge your batteries regularly and to take time out to really just have fun and enjoy all your life blessings.
How do you recharge your batteries? You may need alone and quiet time while your spouse may recharge by being with other people and/or doing lots of activities.
When you take time to recall the things that really matter in your life, it does help put things back into perspective. Also as some of you have discovered, being part of a purpose bigger than yourself can also be inspiring.
Following are tips to help strengthen your marriage. But first, check out my products related to marriage health.
What inspires you? Is it learning or reading stories of how others have overcome impossible odds, beauty in nature, your favorite music that makes you feel invigorated, enthusiastic, and hopeful. Why not look at your photos or videos or just recall some earlier adventures in your life and with one another. It could work to get out the maps or get online to dream about future trips and look at local fun activities for your family.
One of the ways I get my perspective back it to do something different. I used to go riding ATV’s with friends in the mountains, even when I thought I had too much work to do. I almost always came back with a fresh look at my life and even at my problems and those of my clients.
Please do an experiment yourself with these ideas and you’ll find that much of the time, you will feel very refreshed after taking time for fun. Normally, you will be more effective at the tasks that are still waiting.
Even though there are certain tasks you are responsible to take care of, if you wait for all the tasks to be complete before you make time for fun, you will never find time to enjoy your own life, your spouse, your family and friends.
So please let yourself enjoy and appreciate your life while you still have it.
At the end of life, you will not wish you had worked more. Normally you will want to have lived a life with few regrets and spent more time loving your family and friends.
Love to hear your own experiences, stories or questions on the above. Feel free to contact me at CoachWaverly@WaverlyHanson.com
Marriage Counselor & Author
In my personal life, I have had a long successful marriage and have remarried following my husband's death. I have had three sons and helped raise a niece for three years and have seven grandchildren. I have loved spending time with them as they were growing up.
I also enjoy getting together with family and friends, ATVing in the mountains, photography, hiking, and traveling. I also enjoy reading, creating art, decorating, and serving others by volunteering.
Assisting couples in rebuilding their marriages has been so rewarding as I've had the privilege of seeing hundreds of couples reunite and get back to being positively connected to one another.
I also work with personal development and those who want to move forward by making positive improvements such as goal setting, self-care, boundaries, behavioral improvements, overcoming procrastination, conflict management, etc.