How to Build a Strong Foundation for Your Relationship
Because break-ups tend to occur at the beginning of a relationship, it is important that you begin building a strong relationship at the beginning. When you develop a relationship that is healthy from the beginning you increase the likelihood of success for you and your partner. If you both put in the effort to make things work from the beginning, naturally this is the most likely way to lead to a much happier life for you both.
You may already be in a committed relationship or marriage, as you read this you may be viewing this important information you wish you would have known earlier.
Perhaps you can both make some decisions now on how best to handle some well overdue situations that need attention. By doing so, you can both gain a happier and healthier relationship. So many couples want to run away when there are serious problems. However, much of the time, those same problems or others will follow into the next relationship.
Being Able to Fully Trust One Another
From the first day of your relationship start with the truth, no matter what the situation is.
Show your true colors from the beginning and never start any relationship with lies. This only leads to problems later on down the road. It’s like the old saying goes, “Always tell the truth and you don’t have to remember what you’ve said.”
No matter what situation comes your way always be truthful with your partner. If you begin to tell “little white lies” then your partner will eventually begin to question every single thing you tell them.
When there is trust in a relationship you are telling your partner that you sincerely care for them and that you support them no matter what. Your partner knows that they can trust you to keep their secrets but also knows that you will always be honest with them, even if the situation is a hard one.
Don’t question your partner when they tell you something because they will feel that you are questioning their reliability and make them feel like you don’t trust them. Feeling as if you aren’t in a trusting relationship can be very damaging to the partner who doesn’t think he or she deserves to be trusted.
Some ways you can prove to your partner that you trust them are:
- Always do what you say you are going to do.
- If there is a change in plans, let your partner know as soon as possible.
- Never lie to your partner.
- Be fair to them even when you are fighting.
- Don’t bring up things that happened in the past.
- Don’t be sneaky and make them question your motives.
Every relationship must start off with a foundation of trust because when that trust is broken or is never there to begin with then you really don’t have a relationship at all. The importance of trust in any relationship has to exist or the relationship will fail from the beginning and will never be able to move onto solid ground.
Keep your partner in the loop when something is going on so that they never question your motives or question your honesty when it comes to your relationship.
If you have unresolved issues in your life that might prevent you from completely trusting your partner, or anyone else for that matter, you might want to seek some counseling to get over that issue. That is a problem you need to deal with, not your partner.
Communicating Effectively and Successfully
In any successful relationship, communication is a very important ingredient. If you are in a relationship where you don’t feel that you can honestly communicate with your partner you might want to think about learning how to communicate with each other. If you believe you are not a clear communicator, there are numerous online courses that can serve you well in getting better at the process.
Often community centers offer in person inexpensive classes on this subject as well. In every part of life being a clear and pleasant communicator will enhance your life in relationships as well as in your career or job.
When you talk with one another, always do it honestly or the relationship will begin to diminish very quickly. If you do not talk clearly and honestly with one another the likelihood of your relationship succeeding is very low.
When you communicate with one another it is important that you respect the other person’s point of view. You can always agree to disagree in any situation because two people are not always going to have the same opinion in every situation. Being respectful lets your partner know that you value their opinion even though you aren’t always of the same opinion. The two of you will naturally have had different experiences and life histories.
Always be upfront and state the facts as you know them. If you are having an argument with your partner, don’t resort to name calling or blaming them for everything that has gone wrong.
It takes two people for an argument to occur, but it also will take both of you to see that the argument gets resolved.
Speaking of being resolved does not mean you will totally view the situations the same, but that you agree to disagree. If you can keep a reporter’s viewpoint you can honestly share that you’ve never thought of the situation in that manner and keep the idea that this is interesting that you’ve both had such different experiences.
In some cases, you might be the person who has to say, “I’m sorry.” When that occurs say it sincerely and really mean it when you say it. Don’t just throw it out there to try to make things go away, say it because you really do want them to know you are sorry.
Make your relationship the priority when a conflict arises and set a time to talk about the issue at hand. When you set that time aside you are saying to each other that whatever is going on is important enough that it can harm your relationship if it isn’t addressed. Take the time to address it.
When you set that time aside and sit down to talk, take turns in talking over the situation.
Don’t interrupt your partner when they are talking and don’t try to out talk them. You will have your turn to speak. When they are talking, really listen to what they are saying. Repeat what they are saying at different intervals so they know you are really listening to everything they have to say.
When you are talking, ask your partner at different intervals if they understand what you are saying. This allows you to know that they are listening to you and that what you have to say is important.
Give the situation your full attention. Don’t be looking back and forth to the television, or your phone. Make sure that your partner has your complete attention and come to a resolution together or just consider it one of those Live and Let Live Situations.
Communication is the key to any successful relationship and finding a balance where you can work together to talk things out will be one of the most important things you can do for your relationship.
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Let your partner know that you are completely committed to the relationship by making it a priority every single day. Don’t let a day go by that you don’t tell your partner how much you appreciate them and are glad you are in the relationship.
When you both are committed you are letting the other partner know that no matter what happens you are a team and will deal with whatever comes along together. You can do this by letting your partner know that no matter how bad things get around you, you both are strong and your relationship together will allow you to work through whatever it is.
When a person commits to a relationship they are loyal, loving and share a respect for the other person. This commitment cannot be rattled by something or someone from outside of their relationship.
Do something every day that you and your partner can enjoy doing with each other. It can be as simple as washing dishes together or as big as planning a mini-vacation for a weekend. Just spend time together so that your partner knows that you are always going to be there for them.
Work together on a plan for the future that you both can agree on and live with. This lets each partner know that you are on the same page when it comes to your relationship. If one person is in one place and the other in a different place in the relationship, then you might have to back up and regroup.
No person is perfect so don’t expect your partner to be. In order to commit completely you have to accept them the way they are. Don’t try to change them into something that they aren’t or into someone that you think they should be. Part of commitment is accepting people the way they are, warts and all, and love them anyway. Let them know that no matter what you are in it for the long haul.
Commitment has to be a two-way street. Each person has to have boundaries and each person has to maintain their own individuality. Even though you are a couple, you are still a single person and you can’t lose that in a relationship. Do things together, but also do things without your partner. Have a night out with friends without your partner or do lunch with friends that don’t involve the other.
No one person in the relationship should call all the shots and have rules that the other should abide by. Be a couple, but remain a single person too. Being committed doesn’t mean that your life has to revolve around being together every second of every day. It means that each person will maintain their lives and come together in the middle because they want to be together.
Are You Nurturing One Another:
Relationships are fragile and you have to devote time to making sure your relationship doesn’t fall into the boring, same old – same old that a lot of relationships fall into. Having a healthy relationship takes efforts from both sides. Each person has to take the initiative to make sure the relationship continues to grow and continues to be as strong as possible.
You have to give a lot some days and less on other days, but you both have to be there to help the relationship along and keep it strong.
Make it a point every day to tell your partner how much you appreciate the things they do, even the small things. Tell them and show them every day that you love them. Rather than that peck on the cheek when one of you leaves the house, give them a real, deep kiss. It might catch them off guard at first, but after a while it will become a habit for both of you.
Try new things with your partner. I don’t just mean in the bedroom, but outside of the bedroom too. Find something that you both think you might like to try and make plans to actually try it. Who knows, it might be a new activity that you both enjoy doing. You never know until you actually go out and try it.
Work some fun time into your relationship. Having a sense of humor about most things tend to get a lot of people through some tough times. You sometimes hear people say that a situation was so horrible there was nothing else to do but laugh. Do some laughing together and make your relationship fun again.
Compliment your partner on one thing every day. It can be as simple as telling them they look great in the shirt they have on. It’s the simple things that mean the most anyway so just throw out a thoughtful compliment every day and I guarantee you will eventually start to get the same in return. Make sure that you are sincere when you do it though. Don’t be fake about it because that will eventually make your partner question your truthfulness when it comes to the small things.
No matter what your partner does or wears, there has to be something that you can find to compliment them on. Don’t hold back on those, but don’t just start throwing them around when you just happen to think about it.
Share your goals and your dreams with your partner and compare them with theirs. This gives your relationship a place to go from where you are now. If you both share the same goals and dreams for your lives and your relationship then you’ll have more things in common and you’ll enjoy each other and your own lives so much more.
You now have at your disposal the things that you need to do to help you build a solid foundation for your relationship.
Use this guide to help you not only build that strong foundation, but also to maintain your relationship once you’ve built it.
In order for your relationship to be a strong one, you must be able to trust, communicate, commit and nurture. All of these things are important for your relationship to work and be able to stand the test of time. Only you and your partner have the power to take these tips and ideas and make them work for you.
Work together to achieve that strong, happy, and healthy relationship and both of you will be much stronger, happier, and healthier people in your lives. Be a couple, but be an individual too!
Marriage Counselor & Author
In my personal life, I have had a long successful marriage and have remarried following my husband's death. I have had three sons and helped raise a niece for three years and have seven grandchildren. I have loved spending time with them as they were growing up.
I also enjoy getting together with family and friends, ATVing in the mountains, photography, hiking, and traveling. I also enjoy reading, creating art, decorating, and serving others by volunteering.
Assisting couples in rebuilding their marriages has been so rewarding as I've had the privilege of seeing hundreds of couples reunite and get back to being positively connected to one another.
I also work with personal development and those who want to move forward by making positive improvements such as goal setting, self-care, boundaries, behavioral improvements, overcoming procrastination, conflict management, etc.