Making a marriage work requires some effort from both partners. In some cases, the help of a third party, such as a relative or a counselor might be needed to get over rough patches. These seven tips will help you build a stronger marriage and find happiness as a couple. (NOTE: Normally, however, unless you have an unusual relationship with a relative such as both of you feeling close and respected by this relative, I would advise a different third party.)

Tip #1: Pay Attention To Each Other

How much do you know about your spouse and about their life? Paying attention to each other is important because this is how you can show love on a daily basis. Grand romantic gestures are not going to be a part of your daily life, but small details will matter.

I’ve heard it suggested, to set a time that is available everyday for you both to sit together as a couple and share about what happened that day. That way you can each expect to get that time and you can start to feel the assurance that your spouse will listen and you will know where each other is at in your daily lives.

Tip #2: Respect Each Other

Respect is a very important aspect of making marriage work. Respecting your partner is crucial since you won’t be able to have fair fights if there is no respect in the relationship. Respect starts with listened and truly hearing what your spouse has to say. So often we are thinking about the next point we want to say that we don’t even hear what our spouse is saying to us.

Tip #3: Spend Time Together

Some couples tend to spend more time apart when their marriage is in trouble. Having some alone time and seeing some friends is important, but there cannot be a strong marriage without some shared time and shared activities. 

It is so easy to feel like you are roommates with your spouse instead of a married couple. Even the simplest of activities can help change that. Sit in the same room in your house while you’re doing separate tasks. Go for a 10-15 minute walk. Play a board game. Watch a show or movie that you both know you’ll enjoy.

This is the most difficult for couples that feel like they don’t have a lot in common, but it’s still possible! Start with what you KNOW you both like, even if it’s something small and go from there. Sometimes if you don’t have a lot of current common interests it’s a good opportunity to explore activities that are new to both of you.

Tip #4: See Things From Your Partner’s Point Of View

Making marriage work is easier if you try to see things from your partner’s point of view, both in your daily life and when there is a disagreement. It will be easier to find a common ground and to respect and understand your partner if you take a few minutes to see things from their perspective or simply ask them to explain their point of view.

Listening to your partner and telling and/or demonstrating to them that you understand and appreciate what they are sharing with you can go a long way in showing that you care about them and that they are important to you. Even if you don’t 100% agree with their views or actions you can empathize with them about where they are at.

The more you slow down and seek to understand their point of view the more you will learn about them as a person.

Remember, your marriage is not a place to make assumptions or to play fortune teller. You need to take that time to get your partner’s perspective so you can know where they are truly coming from. Hopefully, in return, they will show that same respect and curtesy.

Following are tips to help strengthen your marriage. But first, check out my FREE ebook on how to have a healthy marriage.

Tip #5: Solve Your Solvable Problems

Every marriage has its problems. It is important to talk about them in a calm manner and to find solutions for the things that can be fixed. Not all problems can be fixed, and you will have to make some compromises. You should take some time to talk about the problems you are encountering in a non-judgmental way and work on finding solutions. The ones that are not really solvable will fall into those things you learn to accept about one another. No one is perfect and no two people can possibly agree about everything. Live and let live!

Tip #6: Learn To Compromise

Sharing a life together means you won’t always have your way. You need to be able to communicate about the difficulties you encounter and to find compromises when there are no other ways to solve the issue. A really important unresolved issue can lead to tensions building up in the marriage while a compromise will allow you to live together without any negativity, even though the solution might not be perfect.

Tip #7: Build A Life Together

You might feel that your daily routine is defining your marriage. Find ways to build a life together, for instance by talking about your projects for the future, working towards a common goal and sharing experiences as a couple or as a family if you have children.

These seven tips will help you build a stronger marriage and live a happier life with your partner. You should take some time to talk to your partner about these tips and how you could implement them to improve the life you live together.