Most people want a Happy Marriage
If you’re like most people, you think about having a dream wedding and a happy marriage with a person that you truly love and adore. There’s nothing more beautiful than being committed to one person for the rest of your life and sharing your entire lifetime with them. However, having a good marriage is a lot more than just the act of getting married.
A few guidelines to help on your own Marriage Journey:
If you want to remain married and most of all, happy in your marriage, then you will need to take active efforts towards it. A marriage takes two persons who are willing to frequently make a positive connection with one another.
Don’t guess but clarify things for one another.
The number one thing that every single couple needs to understand is positive communication. If you don’t communicate warmly with your wife or husband, it will be extremely hard to have your needs understood and met.
It is not just about communication! You may be communicating by your fighting, but not in positive ways that meet one another’s desires and needs.
This means you will take the time to understand how your partner communicates. Everyone communicates in different ways, so you will need to figure out your partner’s communication style. For example, some people may communicate in a straightforward way while some choose a passive-aggressive style or even submissive style.
Practice ways that work best for you each to understand one another.
Once you understand how your partner communicates, you can then really comprehend what they are trying to say in the way they are saying it. Of course, not all communication styles are effective, and if you or your partner is passive-aggressive or aggressive, you will both need to take steps to communicate in a more direct yet gentle manner.
No mind-reading or fortune-telling allowed!
Remember, it’s impossible to read another person’s mind or have your own mind read. So, be sure to let your partner know, what you really think and feel instead of wishing they would just understand you.
Once positive communication is in place, this may bring out some issues. How you deal with these in your marriage is critical.
Learn to fully concentrate and listen and try to understand.
After all, if your partner tells you they are unhappy with something you’re doing, the last thing you want to do is lash out at them or get into an out-of-control argument.
It’s vital that you reduce reactive behavior and really think before you speak. The words you say in anger can cause a lot of damage that is very difficult or even impossible to repair.
Following are tips to help strengthen your marriage. But first, check out my products related to marriage health.
Calm down or Cool downtime is vital!
It is likely that after a heated discussion, you may need to take some time to calm down and think, before talking about the issue. You will need to learn how to think about things from your partner’s point of view so that you can empathize and understand how they feel. Once both partners can do this, solving issues will become more doable.
In any relationship, there will always be challenges and disagreements, but how you approach those and address them will determine the quality of your marriage. Remember, a happy marriage requires you to communicate respectfully and positively and work through your differences instead of fighting or ignoring them.
Keep in mind your Humanity
Keep in mind that you are two human beings who are not perfect and will need to sincerely apologize to one another many times. At the very least you can apologize for your part in the dispute.
If after sincerely trying, you are still having difficulty, find help!
There are many times when you are too close to the issues to be able to work through yourselves in spite of your best efforts.
A marriage-friendly therapist, coach, or counselor with just a few meetings will likely be able to help you develop strong communication skills if you are willing to make an effort!
Marriage Counselor & Author
In my personal life, I have had a long successful marriage and have remarried following my husband's death. I have had three sons and helped raise a niece for three years and have seven grandchildren. I have loved spending time with them as they were growing up.
I also enjoy getting together with family and friends, ATVing in the mountains, photography, hiking, and traveling. I also enjoy reading, creating art, decorating, and serving others by volunteering.
Assisting couples in rebuilding their marriages has been so rewarding as I've had the privilege of seeing hundreds of couples reunite and get back to being positively connected to one another.
I also work with personal development and those who want to move forward by making positive improvements such as goal setting, self-care, boundaries, behavioral improvements, overcoming procrastination, conflict management, etc.