You can save your marriage even if you and your spouse are talking about getting a divorce. You will have to make some significant changes in order to make your marriage work again but what you have spent years of your life building with your spouse is worth saving. Here is how to save your marriage.

 

Consider Spending Some Time Apart

Spending a very short time apart from your spouse can be beneficial if you have reached a crisis in your marriage. This can give you an opportunity to cool down.

This will also give you and your spouse the opportunity to think about the relationship and the crisis itself. It will be easier to get together and talk about your problems once you and your spouse have had a chance to get over your anger and resentment.

Get Over Hurt Feelings

There are probably a number of hurts that have damaged your marriage over the years. While they will take some time to work through them, it is important to acknowledge those feelings.

Offering a sincere apology can be a good start. You both need to understand that healing takes some time and will require both spouses to actively look for ways to put these negative feelings behind them.

 

Figure Out What Went Wrong

What led to the marriage crisis? Try to think of specific events or issues. If your marriage is in trouble, it is likely that there are some deep issues that you have been ignoring for years.

If you are still able to talk peacefully, spend some time asking your spouse to help you identify these issues. You can then start looking for ways to address these issues and build a better relationship.

 

 

 

Following are tips to help strengthen your marriage. But first, check out my products related to marriage health.

Can Your Marriage Be Fixed?

You can save your marriage if you and your spouse are committed to moving forward together and want to make things work. You will actively look for ways to resolve your issues and might also need to address some personal problems as well.

With certain serious problems, it won’t be possible to repair the relationship.  Those issues are abuses of any kind, addictions, mental illness, unfaithfulness or illegal activities.

Eventually, it will be necessary to begin the forgiveness process for past mistakes knowing you both are human. This can assist you in moving into a healthy relationship.  I believe forgiveness is a decision and a process that is not easy or quick, but possible.

 

Moving Forward

The purpose of working on your marriage is to either move forward with a new relationship that is fulfilling for both spouses or to decide to go your separate ways.

Divorce is sometimes the only option if either of you you and your spouse have problems like mentioned earlier and are not actively and sincerely seeking help.

However, this is not something that you need to decide right away. You should try to fix things before deciding to call it quits since there is a good chance that you will be able to build a stronger and happier marriage by addressing your issues.

Getting over a marriage crisis is difficult. This process takes time but it is possible to fix your marriage if begin to take responsibility for your own problems.

If you need help on how to save your marriage, reach out for professional help.  When you engage a marriage friendly counselor, coach or therapist you have a better chance of getting the help you need in resolving your problems.

When you are too close to your own situation, it is difficult to have a clear perspective.

     

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    Waverly Hanson

    Waverly Hanson

    Marriage Counselor & Author

    In my personal life, I have had a long successful marriage and have remarried following my husband's death.  I have had three sons and helped raise a niece for three years and have seven grandchildren.  I have loved spending time with them as they were growing up.

    I also enjoy getting together with family and friends, ATVing in the mountains, photography, hiking, and traveling. I also enjoy reading, creating art, decorating, and serving others by volunteering. 

    Assisting couples in rebuilding their marriages has been so rewarding as I've had the privilege of seeing hundreds of couples reunite and get back to being positively connected to one another. 

    I also work with personal development and those who want to move forward by making positive improvements such as goal setting, self-care, boundaries, behavioral improvements, overcoming procrastination, conflict management, etc.