It is very important that at least one of you react right away if your marriage is in trouble. There might have been a specific event that lead to you and your spouse to start talking about divorce. It is also likely both you and your spouse might have simply let the marriage deteriorate over the years without making any changes.

If you are looking for a way to save my marriage, counseling could be the answer.

Do You Need Counseling?

If you and your spouse are unable to talk about your problems because there is a lack of communication or because you cannot bring up some topics without bitter arguing, you should definitely consider marriage counseling, coaching or therapy.

A marriage friendly counselor or coach with a great success rate can help you identify the issues that have been damaging your marriage over the years. Even more importantly, you will be provided and with the tools you need to address these issues.

Bring Up Marriage Counseling

For some people going to see a counselor can be a difficult discussion and decision. Maybe people have unusual ideas about what counseling or coaching or therapy means.

People that have little experience or a bad experience, may think it counseling or coaching or therapy is something to hide or be ashamed about. Fortunately, may people currently understand and look at it as an opportunity for growth.

Counseling could save your marriage or help you make the right decision if it turns out that going your separate ways is what would be best for you and your spouse. You could bring up counseling with your spouse to see what he or she thinks and explain that counseling could help you address your issues.

On the other hand, many couples believe they both must go together for it to be effective.  I’m happy to tell you that this is a myth. Many times only one person in the relationship is willing to come for help.

Just one of you making changes in the way you interact can make a great difference. By one of you changing, the other person is nearly forced to change the way they respond.  Also as your attitude improves, the other can become curious.  Try not to push, but always be friendly in your invitation to join in whenever they would like.

 

Know What To Expect From Counseling

Don’t expect your therapist or counselor to save my marriage. The professional you meet with will encourage you and your spouse to communicate in a healthy and open manner. They can provide advice, point out the issues you might not have noticed and suggest some solutions. Their role is to guide you and your spouse as you identify and resolve your problems.

 

 

 

Following are tips to help strengthen your marriage. But first, check out my products related to marriage health.

Adopt A Proactive Attitude

You will get better results with counseling if you and your spouse adopt the right attitude. You need to be honest about your problems and about how you feel. Your marriage friendly counselor with a great success rate, can help you create a template you can follow to rebuild your marriage and make things work but you need to understand that it is time to take action. Counseling obviously won’t help if you and your spouse are not willing to make some significant changes to your lives.

 

Give It Some Time

Avoid making any life changing decisions until you have had a chance to talk things through with your spouse if possible.  Do not be a hurry as your spouse will not likely be ready for a heart to heart discussion immediately.

You might be tempted to file for divorce if you or your spouse were unfaithful or if you feel that your marriage cannot be fixed. Divorce might be the solution that you and your spouse come to after receiving counseling, but this is not something you should decide right away. You can participate in counseling for a while to see if you can work things out and make some improvements to your marriage before making a decision.

Receiving counseling will provide you and your spouse with the opportunity to talk about your problems. You should consider getting help from a professional if you feel that you are headed for a divorce and don’t know how to save your marriage.

     

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    Waverly Hanson

    Waverly Hanson

    Marriage Counselor & Author

    In my personal life, I have had a long successful marriage and have remarried following my husband's death.  I have had three sons and helped raise a niece for three years and have seven grandchildren.  I have loved spending time with them as they were growing up.

    I also enjoy getting together with family and friends, ATVing in the mountains, photography, hiking, and traveling. I also enjoy reading, creating art, decorating, and serving others by volunteering. 

    Assisting couples in rebuilding their marriages has been so rewarding as I've had the privilege of seeing hundreds of couples reunite and get back to being positively connected to one another. 

    I also work with personal development and those who want to move forward by making positive improvements such as goal setting, self-care, boundaries, behavioral improvements, overcoming procrastination, conflict management, etc.