Seeing a marriage counselor, coach or therapist is a difficult decision to make. However, if your marriage is in trouble, it’s important that you discuss this with your spouse.
Obviously, it is imperative that you choose a time when you are not fighting or giving one another the silent treatment. Getting marriage help will be beneficial if you can’t find or haven’t found a way to fix your relationship on your own.
Learn How to Fight Fair
Some couples have a hard time making compromises and finding solutions because discussions turn into fights. Controlling anger and other negative emotions can be difficult and addressing your marital problems in a constructive manner can become impossible. A counselor, coach or therapist will help you learn how to fight fair so you can work on making compromises.
Express Yourself
If you and your spouse have a hard time talking about your feelings and problems, a successful professional will help you. In some cases, one of you may completely shut down and won’t make any effort to talk about the problems and work on the marriage. If this describes your situation, professional help is definitely needed.
Manage Anger and Resentment
Anger and resentment can build up over the years and hurt your relationship. If there are a lot of negative emotions in your marriage, counseling, coaching or therapy will make a difference. The professional you work with will help you and your spouse express these feelings and begin to understand what appears to trigger them.
Figure Out How to Build A Better Marriage
Your marriage friendly counselor, coach or therapist will help you and your spouse create the kind of marriage you both desire. Again, a successful professional will assist you in creating a step by step plan that you and your spouse can follow to build a better marriage. You both will have the opportunity to talk about your needs, learn how to express these needs and figure out some strategies you can use to meet each other’s needs.
Following are tips to help strengthen your marriage. But first, check out my products related to marriage health.
Forgive Each Other
Whether there has been a very serious problem or more that brought your marriage to a bad place or you both have fallen into bad habits of neglecting one another, there is help available.
With the right help, you both will find a way to move on and rebuild your marriage. Apologizing and forgiving is a difficult process and it might be best to work things out with the help of a counselor over a period of time.
My belief is that forgiveness takes time and is a decision to accept one another as human beings who will make mistakes, but together you can rebuild!
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Set Some Common Goals
Your counselor or therapist can help you set some common goals. Rebuilding a marriage is a lot easier if you and your spouse share a common vision for your future and work on building something together. You cannot have a strong marriage unless you work on building something together.
These are only a few benefits of seeking marriage help. You can work things out with your spouse and should definitely discuss your marriage and your issues. However, it is best to get help from a counselor or from a therapist if you cannot solve your problems without fighting or if communication has become difficult in your couple. Think about reaching out to friends and relatives to see if they can offer some advice for your marriage.
Waverly Hanson
Marriage Counselor & Author
In my personal life, I have had a long successful marriage and have remarried following my husband's death. I have had three sons and helped raise a niece for three years and have seven grandchildren. I have loved spending time with them as they were growing up.
I also enjoy getting together with family and friends, ATVing in the mountains, photography, hiking, and traveling. I also enjoy reading, creating art, decorating, and serving others by volunteering.
Assisting couples in rebuilding their marriages has been so rewarding as I've had the privilege of seeing hundreds of couples reunite and get back to being positively connected to one another.
I also work with personal development and those who want to move forward by making positive improvements such as goal setting, self-care, boundaries, behavioral improvements, overcoming procrastination, conflict management, etc.