Don’t make the mistake of giving up on your marriage because you have become unhappy with the relationship or because your spouse is talking about getting a divorce. Saving your marriage is possible if you take action and decide to make some changes.
Be Ready To Make Some Drastic Changes
You cannot fix your marriage unless you address your problems and make some changes to your daily life. This might mean changing the way you spend time with your spouse or scheduling some weekly connect times so you can discuss your problems and find solutions. Don’t expect your marriage to improve unless you are fully committed to making these changes.
Accept That Things Won’t Get Better Right Away
It takes time to fix a marriage. Don’t give up if you don’t notice an improvement right away. And remember that deciding to work on your marriage doesn’t necessarily mean you will be able to save your relationship.
Give it some time and do your best to repair the marriage. Getting a divorce may still end up being your choice if you and your spouse are not able to resolve your conflicts. However, this isn’t a decision you should make until you have spent some time healing your marriage.
Change The Way You Communicate
Saving your marriage requires you and your spouse learning to communicate in a constructive manner leading you both to truly understand and connect with one another.
Developing strong communication skills will allow you to talk about your feelings, to explain what you expect from the relationship and to make compromises. Communicating will be easier if you don’t judge each other and if you learn to really listen and understand one another’s needs.
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Determine Why the Marriage Is In Trouble
You need to have a talk with your spouse to determine why the marriage is in trouble. Some issues might be obvious but you might be surprised to find out how your spouse feels about the marriage when you have a discussion.
Taking time for having fun together again and learning to really hear the meaning behind the words will make a lot of difference. It is a priority that you also ask yourselves what you want from the marriage and how you can build a marriage that will satisfy both spouses.
Seriously Consider Getting Some Outside Help
Many couples can benefit from meeting with a marriage counselor, therapist, or coach. These professionals know how to work with couples who have a hard time communicating or who cannot fix their marriage because of anger or resentment.
This is especially true if you cannot talk about your problems without fighting or if coming up with solutions is difficult. A therapist will be able to help you if personal problems are affecting the marriage.
You can save your marriage if you and your spouse are willing to make some changes and to address your issues. Remember that healing your marriage is a process that takes time and you should be ready to face a few obstacles.
Marriage Counselor & Author
In my personal life, I have had a long successful marriage and have remarried following my husband's death. I have had three sons and helped raise a niece for three years and have seven grandchildren. I have loved spending time with them as they were growing up.
I also enjoy getting together with family and friends, ATVing in the mountains, photography, hiking, and traveling. I also enjoy reading, creating art, decorating, and serving others by volunteering.
Assisting couples in rebuilding their marriages has been so rewarding as I've had the privilege of seeing hundreds of couples reunite and get back to being positively connected to one another.
I also work with personal development and those who want to move forward by making positive improvements such as goal setting, self-care, boundaries, behavioral improvements, overcoming procrastination, conflict management, etc.