Marriage problems need to be addressed as early as possible. If you wait too long, resentment will build up and poison your marriage. No matter how serious your problems are, you can find ways to resolve them if you are ready to commit to working on your marriage.
Be Constructive
Think of addressing your marriage problems as a way of rebuilding the relationship. Blaming each other for what went wrong and focusing on other negative things won’t help you make progress. You will need to work out your negative feelings, which might include apologizing and forgiving each other for your mistakes.
Be Realistic
You can fix your marriage by identifying your issues and by taking action to get over these problems and prevent them from appearing again in the future. You need to be realistic and choose solutions that you can implement. Look for concrete things you can do each day or each week to improve the marriage and set some goals to gradually rebuild the relationship.
Be Kind and Positive
Do your part to save the marriage by being the best spouse you can be. You will have to make some efforts and might go through some days where you don’t feel that you have the energy to be kind and positive. It is so worth your investment to still do your best to be positive and caring in the relationship. Your spouse will be more likely to make an effort on the marriage if they realize that the relationship still has potential.
Make Compromises
Compromising is a skill you need to acquire to build a great marriage. You and your spouse might not see eye to eye on everything but this doesn’t mean you can’t be happily married. Be prepared to make a few sacrifices and learn when to make compromises. Talk about your conflicts and find solutions that work for you both. It is important to talk about your different views and to speak up if something matters to you. Learn to agree to disagree with an accepting manner. You are two individuals after all!
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Be Patient
Fixing your marriage is a process that takes time and things might even seem to get worse before they get better. Sometimes they really aren’t worse, but are now out in the open where they can actually be resolved!
Do keep the bigger picture in mind and remind yourself why your marriage is worth saving. Plan on talking about the marriage and about your progress regularly, but even more importantly, make sure you also schedule some fun activities that will allow you to relax and spend time with your spouse with no problem talk!
Please don’t give up if you don’t see an improvement right away but instead consider getting help from a marriage-friendly counselor, coach, or therapist with a good success record if you feel that you and your spouse are not headed in the right direction.
You can address your problems with these different strategies and think about meeting with a professional so you can get actionable tips on how to deal with the issues you have been experiencing in your marriage. Remember that getting over a marriage crisis takes time and that working on your marriage will be well worth it in the end.
Waverly Hanson
Marriage Counselor & Author
In my personal life, I have had a long successful marriage and have remarried following my husband's death. I have had three sons and helped raise a niece for three years and have seven grandchildren. I have loved spending time with them as they were growing up.
I also enjoy getting together with family and friends, ATVing in the mountains, photography, hiking, and traveling. I also enjoy reading, creating art, decorating, and serving others by volunteering.
Assisting couples in rebuilding their marriages has been so rewarding as I've had the privilege of seeing hundreds of couples reunite and get back to being positively connected to one another.
I also work with personal development and those who want to move forward by making positive improvements such as goal setting, self-care, boundaries, behavioral improvements, overcoming procrastination, conflict management, etc.