You can build a successful marriage if you are dedicated to the relationship and willing to work on it. Good marriages just don’t happen. They are built over the years by two people who care about each other and who know how to address their issues. If you are experiencing some difficulties in your marriage, now is a good time to learn how to deal with your problems and build a better relationship.
Don’t Wait Before Talking About Your Issues
A lot of couples tend to avoid the conversations that they need to have. There might be important conversations about the relationship itself or about topics like finances or parenting. These conversations are avoided because they might not be pleasant, because a fight might occur or because they would require the couple to look for solutions to an issue.
Stop putting off the conversations you need to have and schedule some weekly talks and some fun connecting times if you are going through marital problems or need to figure out your finances.
Rethink The Way You Fight
Fights can really hurt a marriage, especially if excessive anger is displayed. If you fight over everything or stop being respectful to each other when a fight starts, it is time to rethink the way you fight.
Fighting or arguing or disagreeing with each other is normal and will actually help you find compromises and solutions to your problems. However, you need to learn to fight fair.
Always be respectful, manage your anger and focus on being constructive. Saving your marriage will be easier if you can agree on a few basic rules during your conversations to prevent things from degenerating into a fight.
Don’t Run Away From Your Problems
In a lot of cases, married people run away from their problems by focusing on their career, on a hobby or even by having an affair. These behaviors will not help your marriage.
It is vital that you and your spouse talk about your issues and acknowledge the fact that you might have been hiding from these problems. If your marriage is in trouble, fixing the relationship should become your priority.
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Work On Building Something Together
You need to figure out why your marriage is in trouble and identify the things missing from the marriage. Saving your marriage is possible if you and your spouse dedicate yourselves to building a relationship that will bring you satisfaction.
Spend some time to think about marriage and about what an ideal relationship would look like. Work on setting some common goals and learn to look for solutions that make both sides happy and meeting needs.
You will have to make some sacrifices and compromises to fix your marriage but your main goal should be to create something that will meet the needs of both spouses.
It is important to react quickly if your marriage is in trouble. Identify your problems and the behaviors that are hurting the relationship. Work on communicating more openly with your spouse so you can talk about your problems without fighting and think about getting help from a counselor, therapist or coach.
It is very common that a couple finds it hard to keep a true perspective due to being too close to their own situations. This is when a counselor, coach or therapist can help you move quickly toward solutions because of their experience and training along with their outside perspective.
I really love hearing your comments and questions and what you find helpful in these articles. I make the effort to reply personally to each one as much as I can.
Marriage Counselor & Author
In my personal life, I have had a long successful marriage and have remarried following my husband's death. I have had three sons and helped raise a niece for three years and have seven grandchildren. I have loved spending time with them as they were growing up.
I also enjoy getting together with family and friends, ATVing in the mountains, photography, hiking, and traveling. I also enjoy reading, creating art, decorating, and serving others by volunteering.
Assisting couples in rebuilding their marriages has been so rewarding as I've had the privilege of seeing hundreds of couples reunite and get back to being positively connected to one another.
I also work with personal development and those who want to move forward by making positive improvements such as goal setting, self-care, boundaries, behavioral improvements, overcoming procrastination, conflict management, etc.