A few things usually happen when a marriage is in trouble. It is not uncommon for one of the spouses to completely shut down and stop communicating. It is also normal that you might argue a lot more or all your interactions might cause negative feelings to arise.
You and your spouse might become cold, distant or use passive-aggressive techniques. Here are a few things you should know if you are wondering about saving my marriage.
Listen to Your Spouse
Actively listening to your spouse means you should encourage them to voice their dissatisfaction with the relationship and repeat what they are saying to make sure you fully understand how they feel.
If you haven’t had a serious conversation about your marriage in a while, now is the time to bring up your issues. Be a good listener. Don’t judge your spouse and try to have a constructive discussion about what needs to change.
Pay Attention to Your Spouse
Most people expect to find love, affection, and companionship in a marriage. Marriages often end because these things are missing.
You cannot expect to have a marriage that brings you these things unless you invest in it.
Start by making a conscious effort to pay attention to your spouse, for instance by complimenting them and doing small things they will enjoy.
While your spouse might not reciprocate your efforts at first but it’s important that you keep investing.
Work On Any Personal Issues
Personal problems can negatively affect a relationship and need to be addressed so you can be happier and have more to bring to the marriage.
Ask yourself how you can become a better person and how you can have a more fulfilling life outside of your marriage. Working on some personal goals, learning to love yourself and addressing any emotional or psychological issues that have been affecting you will benefit your marriage.
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Experiencing marital problems can be emotionally draining. Seek support from friends and family or others who are supportive of your marriage. This is also a time to consider engaging a marriage counselor, coach or therapist to get through this and to stay positive.
Do your best to bring positivity to your marriage and to show kindness to your spouse. It will be a lot easier to talk about your problems, to look for solutions and to make compromises if you and your spouse are able to remain kind to each other and to focus on the good things.
Recognize That Change Takes Time
Acknowledging that your marriage is in trouble and agreeing to work on it is only the beginning. Change is a process that takes time. Understand that putting effort into your marriage needs to happen on a daily basis.
Don’t expect things to change unless you can identify some specific actions you can take to improve your marriage. Be patient and welcome these changes into your life.
Saving my marriage can seem like an impossible task at times but please do not give up. You can get through your marital problems and build a better relationship. Learn to communicate love, understanding and appreciation to your spouse. As you seek solutions to your problems and adopt a positive attitude, it will make a difference.
Marriage Counselor & Author
In my personal life, I have had a long successful marriage and have remarried following my husband's death. I have had three sons and helped raise a niece for three years and have seven grandchildren. I have loved spending time with them as they were growing up.
I also enjoy getting together with family and friends, ATVing in the mountains, photography, hiking, and traveling. I also enjoy reading, creating art, decorating, and serving others by volunteering.
Assisting couples in rebuilding their marriages has been so rewarding as I've had the privilege of seeing hundreds of couples reunite and get back to being positively connected to one another.
I also work with personal development and those who want to move forward by making positive improvements such as goal setting, self-care, boundaries, behavioral improvements, overcoming procrastination, conflict management, etc.