1. Listen To Your Spouse
It is best to wait a while after a major crisis before communicating with your spouse again. You need to be able to have a calm conversation so you can both express the issues you have been dealing with. A lack of communication is a very common factor in marriage issues. By choosing to listen to your spouse, you may be able to figure out which issues hurting your marriage should be a priority.
2. Don’t Blame One Person
It is very easy to play the blame game and assume that one spouse ruined the marriage. This might be your initial reaction if your spouse cheated. You should not minimize what a spouse did but should instead accept that you may share some responsibility as well. That responsibility is to maintain as much as possible a happy and healthy relationship.
You may need to acknowledge that you both made mistakes and try to understand how each spouse failed the other.
3. Learn To Forgive
You will not be able to get over a marriage crisis unless you gradually learn to forgive each other and make the decision to do so. This process will take some time. It will be vital to talk about what happened and express your feelings.
Your marriage will not last if you get back together but always bring up past mistakes when you argue. Forgiving is difficult and takes time but this is the foundation upon which you can rebuild your relationship.
4. Make Compromises
Perfect marriages don’t exist and it is vital that you to accept that fact. Your marriage can be saved if you are willing to commit to each other again and are willing to work through things.
Fixing your marriage is a process and you will find that you always need to invest and make efforts in your relationship in order to stay happy. You may be needing to talk with your spouse about what it would take for you both to stay in the relationship and make needed compromises.
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5. Seek Help
Some couples manage to get over their differences and save their marriage by themselves. However, you should not hesitate to seek help if you need to.
You could seek help from another couple that has been through a similar crisis and ask them how they managed to save their relationship. You should also consider meeting with a marriage coach, therapist or a counselor so you can have a neutral party help you and your spouse express your feelings and resolve your issues.
Saving my marriage is probably one of your biggest concerns right now. Let your spouse know how you feel and explain that you are willing to do whatever it takes to save your marriage. Give your spouse some time if they are hurt or angry and start communicating again once you can have a calm discussion about your problems.
Many couples find that the process of moving on can be facilitated more quickly with the help of what I call a marriage friendly coach. It is very important if you decide to get help that you ask about their history with couples along with their success rate.
Waverly Hanson
Marriage Counselor & Author
In my personal life, I have had a long successful marriage and have remarried following my husband's death. I have had three sons and helped raise a niece for three years and have seven grandchildren. I have loved spending time with them as they were growing up.
I also enjoy getting together with family and friends, ATVing in the mountains, photography, hiking, and traveling. I also enjoy reading, creating art, decorating, and serving others by volunteering.
Assisting couples in rebuilding their marriages has been so rewarding as I've had the privilege of seeing hundreds of couples reunite and get back to being positively connected to one another.
I also work with personal development and those who want to move forward by making positive improvements such as goal setting, self-care, boundaries, behavioral improvements, overcoming procrastination, conflict management, etc.