Do you feel like your marriage is in trouble? If you and your spouse are talking about divorce or if you simply don’t feel happy anymore about your home life, it is time to take action. It is possible to improve things even if you are on your own.

Step #1: Identify Problems

If you are wondering how to save a marriage alone, feeling like you have to handle issues entirely on your own, this might be one of the problems you are facing.

You might have disagreements when it comes to spending money or raising your children.

You might suffer from a lack of communication or face negative behaviors and attitudes from your spouse.

Your marriage might be in trouble because of an affair one of the spouses had.

These are just a few examples of problems you might be facing in your marriage. Make sure to slow down and really identify what you feel is causing the discord in your marriage.

Step #2: Problem Solve

How to save your marriage when you are working on it alone really depends on the kind of issues that are threatening your marriage.

There is a lot you can do by yourself, such as showing your spouse that you care. Another way is by talking gently and kindly to them about the problems you identified and also making true efforts towards achieving a goal that would improve your home life.

You might feel that you are working on fixing the marriage without any help from your spouse. However, when you put the focus on the progress you are making and do your best not to resent their lack of participation, it will help.

Check out my other post for more tips on how to save your marriage without your spouse’s help: How to Fix Marriage Alone if Your Spouse Won’t Help

Step #3: Work on Yourself

Being the best person you can be will help you build a stronger and happier marriage.

The issues you are encountering in your marriage might be a reflection of your personal issues. You might, for instance, suffer from trust issues or find it difficult to communicate.

Do some work on yourself and focus on growing as a person so you can bring more to the marriage.

Lesson #4: Communicate

If you are looking for a way to save your marriage by yourself, your marriage might suffer from a lack of communication. Ask yourself why your spouse is not doing their part to fix things.

They might not realize that your marriage is in trouble or might have already given up. You need to be able to talk about your issues and about the marriage.

Make an effort to really listen to your spouse and to see things from their point of view.

Check out my other post for more communication tips: Five Communications Skills You Need for a Happy Marriage

Following are tips to help strengthen your marriage. But first, check out my FREE ebook to learn how to have a healthy marriage.

Can You Really Do Everything Alone?

There is a lot you can do by yourself.

You can make a difference by working on yourself and making an effort to really make your spouse feel valued and appreciated.

The hopeful result usually is that your spouse is almost always forced in a good way to also change just because you are changing your ways!

You will likely be pleasantly surprised to find how well this works. It is important though that you don’t have the attitude that you are only giving to get something. If your changes are done with that attitude, they will not be effective.

You cannot fix your marriage and go back to a normal life right away.

It is best to take a little time out from being around each other and from talking about the problems. Slowly start with pleasant conversations, rebuilding things one step at a time. This is particularly helpful when dealing with very strong trust issues.

You will need to keep working on things and will once again be able to achieve happiness together if you see your marriage as a work in progress.

Step #5: Seek Help

You should also consider getting help from a marriage counselor, therapist, or marriage coach. The right person can bring you a lot and provide you with a safe space where you can learn to communicate and find solutions to your problems. Though family and friends can be a source of support, it usually does not work well to involve others as they may have strong opinions and take sides.

You will need to keep working on showing consideration, love, and communicating well. Things will usually change in positive ways much more quickly with guidance from a “marriage friendly” coach or counselor. With consistency, you will usually once again achieve happiness together if you see your marriage as a work in progress. It will not be perfect, since neither of you is perfect either!