What happens to a marriage when one of the spouses goes through a midlife crisis? Going through a midlife crisis can cause you to re-evaluate your life and accomplishments. You might find yourself questioning your marriage and feel that you have missed out on other things.
A midlife crisis can affect a marriage in different ways. One of the spouses might end up having an affair as a result of their midlife crisis, or might feel that they need to be more independent. You probably know a lot of couples that ended up getting a divorce after twenty or thirty years of marriage, but things don’t have to be this way.
The mistake that many couples make is to assume that their marriage is a part of the problem. The truth is that midlife crises are usually associated with feelings of having lived a life that is not fulfilling. Individuals who have found fulfillment in their career or in other aspects of their lives are less likely to go through a midlife crisis.
If you or your partner are currently going through a midlife crisis, you need to focus on limiting self-destructive behaviors that could hurt your marriage and instead carefully re-evaluating all the parts of your life. Major life decisions should not be made hastily.
One of my favorite sayings is Don’t make life changing decisions when your decision maker is broken!
You can get through a midlife crisis without damaging your marriage by looking for ways to make your life more fulfilling. You could, for instance, seek new experiences that you can share together.
This could include finding a new hobby or traveling together. You also need to find fulfillment in your individual lives, including your career, your interests and your social lives.
A lot of couples end up divorcing because one of the spouses or both spouses feel that they need to leave their partners to find fulfillment and happiness.
However, you should not discard the possibility of finding this fulfillment and your happiness in your marriage by working on improving it.
Following are tips to help strengthen your marriage. But first, check out my products related to marriage health.
If your marriage is a source of discontentment, you can put effort into identifying the issues you are having and have a conversation with your spouse.
You will not find happiness in your marriage unless you are able to identify what is missing from the relationship and what can be done about it.
This is where it can really help to have input from a marriage friendly coach or counselor.You will be able to get to the solutions much more quickly and probably more peacefully.
If your spouse is not willing to go, when you go by yourself, you will find it can very quickly turn things around in a positive way.
A midlife crisis does not have to result in a divorce. You need to address the issues you are having and ask yourself or ask your spouse why your marriage is not fulfilling.
Please consider getting help as mentioned above so you can benefit from the expertise of a professional who will be able to show you how to communicate with your spouse in a healthy manner so that you can discuss your issues.
Going through a midlife crisis can be difficult but you can avoid getting divorced and live a more fulfilling life if you address these issues and work on improving your marriage so you can grow old together.
Waverly Hanson
Marriage Counselor & Author
In my personal life, I have had a long successful marriage and have remarried following my husband's death. I have had three sons and helped raise a niece for three years and have seven grandchildren. I have loved spending time with them as they were growing up.
I also enjoy getting together with family and friends, ATVing in the mountains, photography, hiking, and traveling. I also enjoy reading, creating art, decorating, and serving others by volunteering.
Assisting couples in rebuilding their marriages has been so rewarding as I've had the privilege of seeing hundreds of couples reunite and get back to being positively connected to one another.
I also work with personal development and those who want to move forward by making positive improvements such as goal setting, self-care, boundaries, behavioral improvements, overcoming procrastination, conflict management, etc.