If you are thinking about receiving counseling for your marital problems, it is important to know what to expect from counseling. Meeting with a marriage friendly counselor, coach or therapist can help you if you and your spouse are considering a divorce or if you have become dissatisfied with your marriage and can’t find solutions yourselves. What does marriage counseling help with?
Fighting And Anger
Resentment can build up over the years. Anger can be present because some very serious issues were not addressed in the past. These negative feelings can come out when you and your spouse try to address your issues and prevent you from having a productive discussion.
If you and your spouse are constantly fighting and unable to address your issues, you need to have a counselor present to mediate these discussions and help you develop the tools you need to address your issues without letting negative feelings take over.
Shutting Down
It is fairly common for one of the spouses to completely shut down from the other when a marriage is in trouble. If you find it difficult to talk to your spouse or cannot get your spouse to open up and cooperate, counseling is an option you should consider. The marriage counselor you meet with will help create a safe environment where you can both talk about feelings.
Getting Out Of Unhealthy Patterns
Some couples are able to fix their relationship by taking action and by making some changes to the things they do every day. However, fixing your relationship without any help can be difficult if you have fallen into some unhealthy patterns and habits that keep being repeated.
The counselor you meet with will help identify these unhealthy patterns, suggest some solutions or recommend that you or your spouse gets treated for personal problems if those seem to be the main issue.
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Not Knowing How To Communicate in Positive Ways
You need to receive counseling if there is a lack of communication in your marriage. You and your spouse might have stopped communicating over the years or might have never developed the communication skills you need for a healthy marriage. Meeting with a marriage counselor will provide you and your spouse with the opportunity to develop these important skills while you address your problems.
Not Being Able To Decide What To Do
Is your marriage worth saving or would you both be better off going your separate ways? This is a tough decision to make and you and your spouse need some time to figure out what the best option is.
Receiving counseling will help you and your spouse make the best decision possible after you have had a chance to talk about your problems and to look for solutions.
My personal belief is that most marriages are worth saving with some exceptions. Those exceptions from my perspective are addictions, illegal activities, abuse of any kind, affairs, mental illness.
Does marriage counseling help? The answer is yes, even though it is possible to work on your marriage with your spouse if you can talk about your problems and look for solutions together. Please think about getting help from a professional if you are unable to talk peaceably or to come up with solutions that actually work for your marriage.
Waverly Hanson
Marriage Counselor & Author
In my personal life, I have had a long successful marriage and have remarried following my husband's death. I have had three sons and helped raise a niece for three years and have seven grandchildren. I have loved spending time with them as they were growing up.
I also enjoy getting together with family and friends, ATVing in the mountains, photography, hiking, and traveling. I also enjoy reading, creating art, decorating, and serving others by volunteering.
Assisting couples in rebuilding their marriages has been so rewarding as I've had the privilege of seeing hundreds of couples reunite and get back to being positively connected to one another.
I also work with personal development and those who want to move forward by making positive improvements such as goal setting, self-care, boundaries, behavioral improvements, overcoming procrastination, conflict management, etc.