Most of the people I know long for a healthy long lasting marriage.
Many people, though, have given up on that idea and skeptically now believe that it is only a fantasy. My hope is to reassure you that it truly is possible but it doesn’t just happen all by itself!
My hope is that you will take the time to hear other’s true stories and begin to believe again! Maybe you still hope but wonder if it is possible for you to start to enjoy your marriage again!
As a licensed professional for many years and now working with military as a consultant and being in a long lasting marriage myself, I can say with confidence that it is possible.
After witnessing many miraculous changes, I still believe that almost any marriage can be saved if people are really willing to put effort into it. (This is, of course, assuming there are no abusive, addictive behaviors or mental illnesses that are not treated.
Does a marriage that you enjoy just happen? Sometimes it does seem like it in the early stages. Most of the time both of you are really listening to each other and spending time doing things together and just enjoying each other’s company. In these early stages you normally are trying to impress the other person and really putting your best foot forward. You are also mutually respectful and wanting to please. That other special person does seem to be practically perfect!
Sometimes at this phase of marriage, you are determined you will always be like this. Usually, however, within 6 months to 2 years the romantic first thrill stage is fading. You are beginning to notice things you never saw earlier. Sometimes couples will accuse one another of no longer being the person they were while dating or earlier in the relationship. Of course, they do not mean the change is for the better!
Following are tips to help strengthen your marriage. But first, check out my products related to marriage health.
Suppose you admired your special someone as being laid back and relaxed and enjoyed that. Now that other in your mind has become unmotivated and downright lazy! This obviously is the disillusionment state or season of marriage. This is not a fun time for either the accused or the accuser. Maybe you as a couple have gone so far as to begin thinking you made a mistake in marrying or wonder what you ever saw in the other person.
My hope is that while this painful time is going on, there will be someone in your lives who can provide some good mentoring or you are willing to do some research on the internet or in good books on the subject. If you are a person or a couple who is willing to discover and accept one another’s humanity and flaws and let love continue to flow you will get through this stage. Sometimes you may even awaken to the fact that you were in love with a fantasy figure since none of us is perfect or “on” all the time.
Marriage Counselor & Author
In my personal life, I have had a long successful marriage and have remarried following my husband's death. I have had three sons and helped raise a niece for three years and have seven grandchildren. I have loved spending time with them as they were growing up.
I also enjoy getting together with family and friends, ATVing in the mountains, photography, hiking, and traveling. I also enjoy reading, creating art, decorating, and serving others by volunteering.
Assisting couples in rebuilding their marriages has been so rewarding as I've had the privilege of seeing hundreds of couples reunite and get back to being positively connected to one another.
I also work with personal development and those who want to move forward by making positive improvements such as goal setting, self-care, boundaries, behavioral improvements, overcoming procrastination, conflict management, etc.