Do you feel that you are the only one who wants to work on your marriage? This is not an uncommon situation. You can make things better on your own and hopefully eventually your spouse will realize that they also need to work on the marriage in the process.


How To Fix Marriage Alone When Your Spouse Won’t Help?

The key is to not end up resenting your spouse for refusing to help or for not realizing that things need to change. Focus on your own personal growth and on doing what you can to improve the marriage. This might include paying more attention to your spouse and bringing up the issues you have been having.


How Can You Get Your Spouse To Help?

Be patient. It might take your spouse a while to realize that things will improve if you both work on the marriage. You should sit down with your spouse and have a conversation about the issues you have been having and the things you would like to work on to help them see your point of view.

Focus On The Positive

You might be tempted to keep bringing up the issues you feel are making your marriage unhealthy. This will not help fix your marriage. You should instead focus on the positive things and work towards implementing change rather than constantly bringing up issues.

Another thing that may work even better is to let actions speak louder than words! When you begin to change the way you approach your spouse, it almost automatically causes your spouse to respond differently, perhaps without even realizing it.


Encourage Your Spouse To Talk

You need to understand why your spouse is reluctant to make changes or to even acknowledge that your marriage is in trouble. They might simply not feel as unhappy as you do or feel that fixing your marriage would be too hard. If it appears your spouse is open to the idea, do encourage your spouse to open up and to tell you how they feel about the marriage.


Can You Really Fix Your Marriage Without The Help Of Your Spouse?

You can fix your marriage by yourself if you don’t let negative feelings take over. You should be prepared to deal with these feelings and have some strategies you can use to always be the best spouse you can be. Focus on your personal growth outside of the marriage too so you can live a more fulfilling life.

So if you want to know my answer? It is a resounding, Yes, You Can! I have watched this happen over and over with the couples I’ve worked with over 25 years! Just don’t make a big deal about it! Just keep doing what works and rejoice in the beautiful results.




Following are tips to help strengthen your marriage. But first, check out my products related to marriage health.

What Can You Do To Fix Your Marriage?

You could start by contacting a marriage coach or counselor in your area or online with a positive reputation. While you can do a lot by yourself, it usually takes much longer and takes much more effort on your part.

If you receive support and valid information from someone who has worked with hundreds of other couples with very similar problems, you will feel more confident in the actions you decide to take.

It can help to take a look at the issues that are preventing you from having a fulfilling marriage and address each of them. You might need to change the manner in which you communicate with your spouse. You may find new ways to connect with your spouse and be better able to meet your spouse’s emotional needs.

Sometimes you may have a really good model of what seems to be a healthy and successful marriage in your circles. You could ask for their advice if they are a trusted person. While family and friends mean well, sometimes it can make your problems much worse if you are sharing personal things with them. Your spouse may feel betrayed and add to your problems. Additionally, family and friends sometimes take sides which also can make it more difficult to work through your original problems.


Be prepared to be patient

No doubt your marriage problems did not happen overnight and your solutions will also take time to go into effect. Do be patient with yourself and your spouse. In addition to seeking out professional help, you can always invite your spouse to a marriage retreat or just a marriage class or online webinar.


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    Waverly Hanson

    Waverly Hanson

    Marriage Counselor & Author

    In my personal life, I have had a long successful marriage and have remarried following my husband's death.  I have had three sons and helped raise a niece for three years and have seven grandchildren.  I have loved spending time with them as they were growing up.

    I also enjoy getting together with family and friends, ATVing in the mountains, photography, hiking, and traveling. I also enjoy reading, creating art, decorating, and serving others by volunteering. 

    Assisting couples in rebuilding their marriages has been so rewarding as I've had the privilege of seeing hundreds of couples reunite and get back to being positively connected to one another. 

    I also work with personal development and those who want to move forward by making positive improvements such as goal setting, self-care, boundaries, behavioral improvements, overcoming procrastination, conflict management, etc.