Experiencing some ups and downs in your marriage is perfectly normal but it is important to address your marriage problems before they get any worse. You need to be able to talk about your problems and to make compromises with your spouse in order to build a strong and healthy marriage.
Why Is Your Marriage In Trouble?
A lot of couples find themselves in a marriage that no longer brings them happiness but aren’t sure about what needs to change. You might be able to identify specific issues such as frequent fights or an affair. Most marriage problems come from the fact that the relationship is not meeting the needs of both spouses.
This can result in one of the spouses having an affair or in the spouses no longer communicating and spending time together. Resentment, anger and other negative feelings can build up because the relationship doesn’t meet the emotional needs of both spouses.
What Does It Take to Fix A Marriage?
It’s important that you and your spouse commit to the marriage and to fixing your problems. Addressing your marriage issues will help you and your spouse build a happier home but you will have to overcome several obstacles.
Even if you end up getting a divorce, this isn’t a decision you should make until you have given your marriage another chance. You can address your issues by changing the way you communicate with your spouse, by learning to make compromises and by building a relationship where the needs of both spouses are met.
It is sometimes possible to fix a relationship by rethinking the way you treat each other and by making the effort to really understand one another. A lot of couples decide to use counseling, therapy or coaching. Most couples haven’t had training in solving these types of problems and are too close to their own situation to deal with it effectively.
Following are tips to help strengthen your marriage. But first, check out my products related to marriage health.
How Can You Address Your Problems?
Start by identifying the things you need to change and the things you tend to fight about. You and your spouse will need to work on communicating more openly and on making compromises. You will find that showing kindness and being a good listener helps.
Some couples can benefit from spending time apart if there is a lot of anger and resentment that needs to be worked out or if they simply need some time to evaluate the relationship. Look for things you can do every day to build a better marriage, find solutions to the issues you fight about and do your best to meet the needs of your spouse. If one of the spouses has personal problems that are impacting the marriage, these problems will need to be addressed in therapy.
Do not wait until your marriage problems get any worse to address them. Have a talk about the marriage with your spouse. Their view of things might surprise you.
Let your spouse know that you are willing to work on things and are fully committed to saving the marriage. Try finding solutions to your problems and think about getting help from a counselor or from a therapist if you find it difficult to communicate.
Waverly Hanson
Marriage Counselor & Author
In my personal life, I have had a long successful marriage and have remarried following my husband's death. I have had three sons and helped raise a niece for three years and have seven grandchildren. I have loved spending time with them as they were growing up.
I also enjoy getting together with family and friends, ATVing in the mountains, photography, hiking, and traveling. I also enjoy reading, creating art, decorating, and serving others by volunteering.
Assisting couples in rebuilding their marriages has been so rewarding as I've had the privilege of seeing hundreds of couples reunite and get back to being positively connected to one another.
I also work with personal development and those who want to move forward by making positive improvements such as goal setting, self-care, boundaries, behavioral improvements, overcoming procrastination, conflict management, etc.