In life, nothing is guaranteed and unfortunately, this includes marriage. Most people who get married, do so when they are in love. However, as the years pass, people often get into bad habits, take one another for granted and no longer make efforts to nurture their relationship. When that happens, sometimes the relationship does not stand the test of time.
This doesn’t mean that all hope has been lost and you have to get a divorce. I am convinced after over 25 years, that most divorces are not necessary. Often people just get a divorce because they are in so much pain and they don’t know what else to do.
There are multiple ways to fix a marriage and we will now look at a few of them.
In this guide on how to fix a marriage, the most important thing that you have to do is look the most important issues between the two of you.
Address The Most Important Issues
This will take some time, however, it is essential if you want to fix what is broken in the marriage. This means that both partners need to take the time to write out or talk out the issues and problems that you both have with each other. Ideally, once you both have a list, you can sit down and work through each one of them.
Once you both understand one another’s issues you will likely need some professional help to find some mutually acceptable solutions or ways to manage those differences. I am referring to help from a marriage friendly counselor, coach, or therapist.
Remember Not to Stoop to Shouting and Being Mean in Your Communication
Another important tip is to work through your problems without playing dirty, fighting, yelling, cursing, etc. This type of communication is extremely hurtful and will do more damage to your marriage than good. You both need to learn how to communicate in a calm and effective way without getting overly angry and aggressive.
In the event that you are having difficulty doing so, find a marriage friendly counselor, coach or therapist. A professional with a great record of success can help you to work through your problems. This person will also help you reconnect without getting aggressive and shouting at one another. Finding a good fit will give you the highest chance of a favorable outcome.
Put Aside the Past Pain and Hurts
Eventually in order to move ahead, it will be important to put aside the bad things that have occurred and move into a forgiveness process. I personally believe that forgiveness is both a decision and a process that takes time.
Forgiveness does not come easily to many people, however, if you want to fix your marriage, then you will need to learn the process of forgiveness. The truth is, we are all human and we make mistakes.
Focus on Loving Your Spouse
Therefore, you will find it vital to focus more on loving your partner than holding on to past hurts and pain. It will take time, but is certainly possible.
Another important tip is to work through your problems without playing dirty, fighting, yelling, cursing, etc. This type of communication is extremely hurtful and will do more damage to your marriage than good. You both need to learn how to communicate in a calm and effective way without getting overly angry and aggressive.
Following are tips to help strengthen your marriage. But first, check out my products related to marriage health.
Reignite the Flames of Romance
In addition to trying to fix the current problems and issues in your relationship, the next thing that you should do is to reignite the flames of your romance.
Most couples often get into a rut and stop being loving and romantic with each other. As a result, the relationship lacks warmth, intimacy and love. So, when you invest in being romantic and loving toward your spouse, that could very well save your marriage.
Spend Time Together and Practice Gratefulness
Lastly, the final tip is to simply spend more time with one another and become more grateful towards each other. In a broken marriage, there is nearly always one person who feels unappreciated. So, if you don’t appreciate your spouse, you should definitely start doing so.
In closing, we have just looked at how to fix a marriage. It can be a challenging road, however, when you again invest in your marriage and make new efforts to demonstrate your caring toward one another you can have a brand new special beginning.
Waverly Hanson
Marriage Counselor & Author
In my personal life, I have had a long successful marriage and have remarried following my husband's death. I have had three sons and helped raise a niece for three years and have seven grandchildren. I have loved spending time with them as they were growing up.
I also enjoy getting together with family and friends, ATVing in the mountains, photography, hiking, and traveling. I also enjoy reading, creating art, decorating, and serving others by volunteering.
Assisting couples in rebuilding their marriages has been so rewarding as I've had the privilege of seeing hundreds of couples reunite and get back to being positively connected to one another.
I also work with personal development and those who want to move forward by making positive improvements such as goal setting, self-care, boundaries, behavioral improvements, overcoming procrastination, conflict management, etc.