Do you feel that your marriage is headed for a divorce? It is not too late to save your marriage as long as you get started on saving your relationship with the help of your spouse.
Listen to Your Spouse
Marriages often fail because there is no real understanding between the two of them. Learning to really listen to your spouse to understand why they are unhappy with the marriage and also to figure out what they expect from the marriage is vital. Ask some questions, don’t be judgmental and make sure your spouse feels safe about opening up to you.
Express Your Needs
You need to be able to talk about how you feel regarding the marriage and about the changes you would like to see. You won’t be truly happy with your marriage until you have a relationship where your needs are met. Ask yourself what these needs are and have a talk with your spouse about meeting each other’s needs.
Make Some Compromises
You should be prepared to make some compromises to save your marriage. You and your spouse will not have the same views on everything as you are two different people after all. Communicate with your spouse and look for solutions that satisfy the two of you. Remember that you can’t have everything your way and be considerate of your spouse’s feelings. If something is important to either of you, make sure your spouse is aware of it. Some couples use the number system of 5 being really important; 4 just important; 3 being so-so; 2 being of little importance; 1 being of no importance.
You can’t expect your marriage to improve overnight. Acknowledging that some issues need to be worked out is a good start but you should be ready for the many obstacles you will face. You should think about spending some time apart from your spouse if you feel it would be beneficial. You may also have to take some time to forgive and let things go. Remember you are both imperfect and flawed human beings and to let anger and resentment go.
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Create A New Relationship
Saving your marriage is an opportunity to create a new relationship that will not fail and to address these problems so they won’t return in the future. You will probably benefit from setting some new common goals and from finding new ways to spend quality fun times together.
Become A Better Person
You might have some personal issues that are negatively affecting your marriage. If this is the case, working on these issues should be a priority. You should also look for ways to become a better person and to have a more fulfilling life outside of the marriage.
Do your best to be kind and thoughtful. This will help you become a better spouse and you will find that you have more to bring to the marriage.
It is possible to save your marriage with or without the help of a professional. Start by talking about your issues with your spouse and find out how they feel about the marriage. If you feel that you are not making any progress, consider a retreat, marriage class or getting help from a professional.
It is vital that the professional is what I call marriage friendly and has a good success record.
Marriage Counselor & Author
In my personal life, I have had a long successful marriage and have remarried following my husband's death. I have had three sons and helped raise a niece for three years and have seven grandchildren. I have loved spending time with them as they were growing up.
I also enjoy getting together with family and friends, ATVing in the mountains, photography, hiking, and traveling. I also enjoy reading, creating art, decorating, and serving others by volunteering.
Assisting couples in rebuilding their marriages has been so rewarding as I've had the privilege of seeing hundreds of couples reunite and get back to being positively connected to one another.
I also work with personal development and those who want to move forward by making positive improvements such as goal setting, self-care, boundaries, behavioral improvements, overcoming procrastination, conflict management, etc.