Do you know any couples who have been to marriage therapy or met with a counselor or marriage coach? Counseling can help couples get through their issues and learn to build a healthy and fulfilling relationship based on trust and respect. However, you can fix a marriage without counseling if you are ready to make a commitment and really want things to change and are willing to learn new things.
Be Open to Learning and Growing
While you can fix your relationship without counseling or coaching, it is important that you access other ways to grow and learn. Some of those things can be joining a marriage class offered by your community or your place of worship. There are always marriage retreats available that in one week-end can give your marriage a major makeover.
Sometimes listening to videos, audios or reading articles or books can increase your bank of knowledge. You can also ask older couples who appear to have a good marriage about some of their solutions and words of wisdom.
Remember What Used To Work in Your Relationship
It is never too late to fix your marriage, but you need to remember what used to work so well for you two. You and your spouse might have stopped communicating or stop having fun and doing things together. Now it may seem you are unable to enjoy each other’s company. You might fight about everything or a specific event such as an affair or suspected inappropriate outside relationship might have been putting your marriage in danger. These are symptoms of an unhealthy marriage. Ask yourself what caused these problems. You might, for instance, find that you and your spouse do not know how to meet each other’s emotional needs or that you do not know how to communicate with each other. If so, outside help from a marriage coach or counselor may be the fastest and most efficient way to get the help needed.
Make A Plan To Fix Things
If you go see a therapist or a counselor, they will work with you and your spouse to put together an action plan with specific steps you can take and things you can do to improve your marriage. You can fix a marriage without counseling by sitting down with your spouse and creating an action plan, with additional outside information. Your action plan could include steps that you need to take for one of the spouses to forgive the other or things you can do to reconnect with each other. Your action plan needs to be designed to address the specific issues you have been able to identify in your marriage. Can either of you be objective enough to do this or are you too close to the situation. Often one person is unwilling to go for outside help. In my experience, just one person in the relationship going for outside help, can turn things around significantly. A new outside perspective can bring in changes that are hard to see when you are too close to the situation.
Following are tips to help strengthen your marriage. But first, check out my products related to marriage health.
Fixing a marriage is not something you can do overnight. You will need to keep working on your marriage on a daily basis for the rest of your life if you want the relationship to bring you happiness. Marriage is a commitment that you make to someone and this means you will have to do your best to meet your spouse’s needs and to become the person you can be.
You might go through some other rough patches in the future and you will find that fixing your marriage is not an easy process. You will probably get into more fights with your spouse and might sometimes feel that your efforts aren’t enough to save your marriage. It is important to remember why you are doing this and to always have respect for your spouse. Do your best to always fight fairly and to keep communication open with your spouse, even when you go through rough patches.
You can fix your marriage without getting help from a professional but this means you will have to develop a new way to communicate with your spouse so that you can really talk about your problems. Remember that fixing a marriage is a process that takes time but you can be successful if you always keep your goal in mind and if you work on your marriage every day.
Marriage Counselor & Author
In my personal life, I have had a long successful marriage and have remarried following my husband's death. I have had three sons and helped raise a niece for three years and have seven grandchildren. I have loved spending time with them as they were growing up.
I also enjoy getting together with family and friends, ATVing in the mountains, photography, hiking, and traveling. I also enjoy reading, creating art, decorating, and serving others by volunteering.
Assisting couples in rebuilding their marriages has been so rewarding as I've had the privilege of seeing hundreds of couples reunite and get back to being positively connected to one another.
I also work with personal development and those who want to move forward by making positive improvements such as goal setting, self-care, boundaries, behavioral improvements, overcoming procrastination, conflict management, etc.