You have probably heard that 50% of first marriages end in divorce. You might feel like your own marriage is currently heading that way but things don’t necessarily have to end in a divorce if you decide to take action and look for ways to fix your marriage. (Actually, that statistic has recently been found to be much lower which is encouraging.)
Just like everything else in life, marriage is something you need to build and work on over the years. Your marriage might be in trouble because you have been neglecting to do this but it is not too late.
Acknowledge That Things Need To Change
The first step towards fixing a broken marriage consists of acknowledging that your marriage is in trouble and that things need to change. Are you constantly arguing with your spouse? Have you stopped communicating completely? Does it feel like those loving feelings that used to be so automatic have disappeared?
As I am sure you already know, you need to be able to talk with your spouse and express your desire to fix the marriage. If your spouse is talking about leaving, let them know that you are willing to work on things.
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Commit To Giving Your Marriage Another Chance
You cannot fix a broken marriage overnight. Acknowledging that you have issues is a good start. However, you need to accept the fact that saving your marriage is going to take time and require some effort. You can start right away by expressing your willingness to work on your issues and to do whatever it takes to build a better marriage.
Realize That Things Might Not Work Out In The End
It is important to act quickly if your marriage is in trouble, but you need to be prepared for the fact that things might not work out in the end.
However, don’t go into it with a defeatist attitude and sabotage yourself. Do not give up on your marriage before trying to fix things but it is important to know there are issues that are not fixable. Those issues would be addictions, mental illness, abuses of any kind, illegal activities, etc.
You may think that unless both of you are equally committed to making it work, you cannot make the needed changes. This is not at all true. It is very common for various reasons that one partner is more hopeful or willing than the other. By one of you making changes, it can almost automatically cause changes within your marriage.
Make An Action Plan
Find a pleasant place to talk with your spouse and look for specific things that you can do to fix your marriage. Spending some time apart might be needed. If one spouse has hurt the other, true apologies and repairs will need to be made.
It is important to do whatever it takes to let go and begin the forgiveness process if possible. However, this process will take some time.
Either work together on putting together an action plan or find a marriage friendly coach or therapist to help you to craft one. Naturally, you both need to follow the action plan to get through your marriage crisis and build a better relationship.
Following are tips to help strengthen your marriage. But first, check out my products related to marriage health.
Keep Working On Your Marriage
You can fix a broken marriage if you commit to building a strong relationship. This includes becoming each other’s best friends, learning to talk about your issues and making some compromises.
Talk about what you both expect from the relationship and about what it would take for the marriage to work. There will probably be some rough patches as you work on things but seek to keep focused on making your marriage work again.
You can fix a broken marriage if you are ready to commit to repairing mistakes and building a better relationship. Talk with your spouse and try to get them to agree to working on things. Please consider meeting with a marriage friendly coach, counselor or therapist so you can get some tips and support on ways to fix your marriage.
When your marriage has gone through some rough times, it is perfectly normal for it to take some time to repair and rebuild. If you decide to work with someone experienced with these issues, it often facilitates quicker results because as a couple you may too close to the situation to see your own piece of the puzzle.
Please don’t lose hope for your marriage as I have literally see hundreds of other’s marriages totally turn around to be even better than ever!
Waverly Hanson
Marriage Counselor & Author
In my personal life, I have had a long successful marriage and have remarried following my husband's death. I have had three sons and helped raise a niece for three years and have seven grandchildren. I have loved spending time with them as they were growing up.
I also enjoy getting together with family and friends, ATVing in the mountains, photography, hiking, and traveling. I also enjoy reading, creating art, decorating, and serving others by volunteering.
Assisting couples in rebuilding their marriages has been so rewarding as I've had the privilege of seeing hundreds of couples reunite and get back to being positively connected to one another.
I also work with personal development and those who want to move forward by making positive improvements such as goal setting, self-care, boundaries, behavioral improvements, overcoming procrastination, conflict management, etc.