Marriage can be very disappointing when you feel it has stopped meeting your expectations. Many of you may be tempted to play with thoughts of going your own way. At that time, the fantasy or new life you see looks inviting and wonderful.
The reality of that action, nearly 100% of the time, is very different than your imagination. When I have a first meeting with a couple where at least one of them has decided they want to get a divorce, I usually ask them what that new life would look like. I also ask what would be different in their new life.
Interestingly, some of you have not really thought things through along with the reality of how different life would be in negative ways. Others of you have quite a clear picture of at least one or two things that would be quite different.
The next question is: “What is stopping you from starting on your dream today while you are married?”
I’d like to pose the same question to you today. “What have you decided is so exciting about that new life, that you are willing to go through a divorce to attain it?”
The really wonderful news I want to share with you today is much of the time you will discover your belief that you must divorce to attain your dream is really not factual.
Happily, I have witnessed numerous couples who have based that belief on words from past history or on a total misunderstanding. Sometimes also life has changed and your mate now understands you need to fulfill that dream and will not stand in the way but actually support you.
Following are tips to help strengthen your marriage. But first, check out my products related to marriage health.
The takeaway, obviously, is never assume things without carefully checking things out. Sadly, by the time the above scene takes place, most of those couples no longer are sharing their hearts on a regular basis, so neither is closely connected, so they really have “drifted apart.”
Another article is coming up soon that will focus on those “expectations” brought to marriage. Following will be another on how to prevent the “drifting apart” syndrome.
Love to hear your own experiences, stories, or questions on the above. Feel free to contact me at [email protected]
Until next time…
Marriage Counselor & Author
In my personal life, I have had a long successful marriage and have remarried following my husband's death. I have had three sons and helped raise a niece for three years and have seven grandchildren. I have loved spending time with them as they were growing up.
I also enjoy getting together with family and friends, ATVing in the mountains, photography, hiking, and traveling. I also enjoy reading, creating art, decorating, and serving others by volunteering.
Assisting couples in rebuilding their marriages has been so rewarding as I've had the privilege of seeing hundreds of couples reunite and get back to being positively connected to one another.
I also work with personal development and those who want to move forward by making positive improvements such as goal setting, self-care, boundaries, behavioral improvements, overcoming procrastination, conflict management, etc.