Finding out that your spouse wants a divorce can be devastating. However, your marriage doesn’t have to end if you are ready to do whatever it takes to get your spouse back and to fix things. There is plenty of advice on how to stop your divorce but the truth is that you have to figure out what you need to do to convince your spouse to agree to getting back together.
It Takes Time
You need to give your spouse some time if they want a separation. It will be easier to talk about your problems and to find a solution after you have spent a couple of weeks apart. Take this opportunity to reflect on what happened and to make a list of the things you could have done differently over the years.
Talk With Your Spouse
You will not be able to save your marriage until you have a serious discussion with your spouse. It is best to wait a while before meeting and having this conversation so things do not turn into an argument. Encourage your spouse to open up and explain why they want to end things and why they have not been happy with the marriage.
Acknowledge Their Feelings
You need to acknowledge everything your spouse says and recognize that their feelings are valid. Accept the fact that you have not been a perfect spouse over the years and apologize if you feel that you need to.
Make An Action Plan
You need to have a detailed action plan to stop your divorce. Your plan might, for instance, include some things you need to do in order to help your spouse heal if you have hurt them, things you need to do to become a better person and steps you need to take to slowly start rebuilding your marriage.
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Show Your Spouse You Are Serious
Talking about making things better is important but you need to show your spouse that you are really willing to make a consistent effort. Do something to show him or her that you care and that you are fully dedicated to becoming a better person and to making things work.
Find A Way To Avoid Making The Same Old Mistakes
You can stop a divorce, get back together with your spouse and find yourself in the same situation again a few months down the road. Old habits die hard and you need to find a way to change your marriage for good. This means you will have to constantly work on communicating more and on avoiding the old pitfalls that caused your spouse to want to leave.
How to stop your divorce depends on why your spouse wants to end things. You need to talk to them to understand why they are unhappy and do everything you can to show them that you want to make things work. You should think about going to marriage counseling or therapy so you can benefit from the help of an expert.
When you are too close to the situation and, of course, very emotionally involved, it is very hard to have an objective view. That is the huge benefit of working with someone who brings the experience of working with hundreds of other couples in similar situations.
Marriage Counselor & Author
In my personal life, I have had a long successful marriage and have remarried following my husband's death. I have had three sons and helped raise a niece for three years and have seven grandchildren. I have loved spending time with them as they were growing up.
I also enjoy getting together with family and friends, ATVing in the mountains, photography, hiking, and traveling. I also enjoy reading, creating art, decorating, and serving others by volunteering.
Assisting couples in rebuilding their marriages has been so rewarding as I've had the privilege of seeing hundreds of couples reunite and get back to being positively connected to one another.
I also work with personal development and those who want to move forward by making positive improvements such as goal setting, self-care, boundaries, behavioral improvements, overcoming procrastination, conflict management, etc.