Your marriage doesn’t have to end even if one spouse is talking about divorce. There is always hope for reconciliation as long as you can talk about your problems and agree to give the marriage another chance.
Is My Marriage Worth Saving?
Nearly all marriages are worth saving. However, you need to accept that sometimes going your separate ways might be necessary. You should be ready for this possibility in case working on your marriage is not enough.
Besides, you cannot save your marriage by yourself if your spouse has their mind set on getting a divorce and is not willing to give the relationship another chance. It is important to take some time and ask yourself why you want to save your marriage and what you are willing to do in order to make things work.
What Went Wrong?
Marriages end for a number of reasons. Infidelity is a common cause but a lot of couples end up separating because they have become dissatisfied with the relationship. Accepting outside help to figure out what caused the crisis in your marriage is often necessary. Infidelity or another event that hurt the relationship might only be the symptom of a deeper problem.
The reason outside help is usually needed, that most couples don’t seem to recognize what went wrong and no idea of how to go about repairing their relationship. You cannot save your marriage and build a relationship that will work if you cannot figure out what went wrong and have a strategy to prevent the same thing from happening again in the future.
What Would It Take To Save My Marriage?
You need to talk about saving your marriage with your spouse and figure out what each spouse wants from the relationship. State that you are ready to do whatever it takes to save the relationship and convince your spouse that the marriage is worth saving. Each spouse should set clear rules and expectations for the marriage. Look for concrete things that you can both do to rebuild the relationship.
Following are tips to help strengthen your marriage. But first, check out my products related to marriage health.
How Will You Save The Marriage?
You need to have a concrete and detailed plan of action to allow the relationship to heal and to give the marriage another chance. If one of the spouses had an affair, you should start by talking about it and by apologizing to the other spouse.
Give the relationship some time and work on taking small steps towards rebuilding trust in the relationship and on developing a friendship with your spouse. Your plan might include living apart for a while, talking about your issues and gradually spending more quality time with each other.
Saving a marriage is possible but it requires new actions and a real commitment. Ask yourself if you are ready for this commitment and accept the fact that saving a marriage takes time.
Please do think about meeting with a marriage coach or a marriage friendly counselor to get help on how to save your marriage and have a neutral third party help you talk about your issues and find solutions.
Waverly Hanson
Marriage Counselor & Author
In my personal life, I have had a long successful marriage and have remarried following my husband's death. I have had three sons and helped raise a niece for three years and have seven grandchildren. I have loved spending time with them as they were growing up.
I also enjoy getting together with family and friends, ATVing in the mountains, photography, hiking, and traveling. I also enjoy reading, creating art, decorating, and serving others by volunteering.
Assisting couples in rebuilding their marriages has been so rewarding as I've had the privilege of seeing hundreds of couples reunite and get back to being positively connected to one another.
I also work with personal development and those who want to move forward by making positive improvements such as goal setting, self-care, boundaries, behavioral improvements, overcoming procrastination, conflict management, etc.