When it is about saving your marriage against intruders, it doesn’t necessarily mean that the people are aiming at poisoning your heart against your spouse. It involves every other thing which drifts you apart or comes between you two. There might come times when both of you might feel there is a whole world between the two of you and it would take a lot of struggle to get through the chaos so you could once again enjoy your beautiful bond of love and trust.
It is important to keep track of what comes between you two and to hold your guard against everyone and everything that has a potential to tear you away given the slightest amount of negligence.
1. Restrict Displays of Affection on Social Media
Your marriage and the relationship with your spouse are not, and must not be defined by the number of likes and comments you get on your honeymoon album. This trend no matter how cool it may seem, especially for the young couples tying the knot in today’s age of technological advancements, could be detrimental to your marriage. What has to be kept personal has to be in confines of the bond set by you two and unnecessary information sharing may result in unnecessary comparisons, resentments and mean taunts, which might just blow off the entire mood.
2. Keep the Bond of Trust Unshaken
Reinforce the trust between the both of you each day without fail. You need to communicate to each other what bothers you and the things that make you uncomfortable. You might also want to discuss the limits you would want to set for the both of you which you’d promise to abide by without fail. When the bond of trust is not shaken between spouses, nothing can come between them.
3. Establish Boundaries for the World
Tell the world out loud what you would tolerate and what you would not. If the involvement of the families of each side is a ‘no-no’ for both of you, communicate that to them. If there are some friends, whether yours or your spouse’s, which either of you don’t feel comfortable around or comfortable sharing your relationship with; make that clear to them. Set boundaries for the world and don’t feel guilty about doing so – it is your marriage and you are working for it.
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4. Detoxify Your Marriage
The bond of marriage is very delicate and it could be covered with dust and debris of misunderstandings, doubts, blames, shame, unresolved conflicts and the like. Thus, it is necessary to detoxify your marriage with the help of closer bonding sessions every now and then. This includes building trust, scrubbing off the pessimism and flushing out the resentments through appreciation, encouragement, valuing one another and dreaming of a better tomorrow.
5. The Absence of “Exit” Sign
There is and has to be no room for exit. It is only humane to think about leaving when even the smallest of problems arises, so that you would know you can leave without any baggage any time you wish. But by setting limits, you are actually disciplining yourself to abide by the laws you both have set. You also need to abide by all the set rules so that you can your best in your marriage and continue to try at your best for the improvement of your bond.
So, by following these tips, rather than falling prey to addictions and affairs which are intrusions in your marriage, you will remain in each other’s confines and seek solace in each other’s company. It is you two who have built this fort of marriage and it is you who have to guard it against adversities!
Love to hear your own experiences, stories or questions on the above. Feel free to contact me at CoachWaverly@WaverlyHanson.com.
Marriage Counselor & Author
In my personal life, I have had a long successful marriage and have remarried following my husband's death. I have had three sons and helped raise a niece for three years and have seven grandchildren. I have loved spending time with them as they were growing up.
I also enjoy getting together with family and friends, ATVing in the mountains, photography, hiking, and traveling. I also enjoy reading, creating art, decorating, and serving others by volunteering.
Assisting couples in rebuilding their marriages has been so rewarding as I've had the privilege of seeing hundreds of couples reunite and get back to being positively connected to one another.
I also work with personal development and those who want to move forward by making positive improvements such as goal setting, self-care, boundaries, behavioral improvements, overcoming procrastination, conflict management, etc.