One way to keep the romance in your marriage is to keep up the dating! Give priority to time for one another. Planning those special times together whether short or long, extremely frugal or spendy, can make all the difference.
Develop your own rituals but keep out of ruts. Remember to take time for a walk, ride bikes together or go to a favorite coffee shop, favorite park. Consider going to a lookout of a scene you both enjoy, or just turn off the TV, put on some music and dance in your own home, or have a cup of tea, soft drink or whatever together after the kids are either in bed or watching a movie or at a babysitters.
Some couples find it fun and interesting to take turns planning the date. Whether you can do this weekly or every other week, it is of primary important to keep the romance going.
Remember all the time you used to spend together, listening and learning about each other. Keep learning and doing new things but at the same time support one another in your careers, dreams, life joys and challenges.
When you have children, of course, it becomes more challenging to make the time for you as a couple. However, the best gift you can give your children is for them to see how you prioritize your mate above all other things in your life.
When they see you treating each other respectfully and lovingly and settling your differences without being scary or mean, it gives them a great sense of security and safety. It also models for them what a great marriage looks like.
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It is easier to allow the “tasks and duties” to take priority over fun and romance but in the end, the payoff for taking time with your mate will have the greatest payoff of all.
This is assuming you also take time to play with the children and let them know how special they are to you as well as what your expectations are. Many kids choose not to do harmful things just because they don’t want to disappoint their parents by not living up to their hopes and expectations.
At the end of life, no one ever expresses that they wished they had worked more. Great relationships become even more important as the years go by.
Love to hear your own experiences, stories or questions on the above. You can contact me at [email protected]
Waverly Hanson
Marriage Counselor & Author
In my personal life, I have had a long successful marriage and have remarried following my husband's death. I have had three sons and helped raise a niece for three years and have seven grandchildren. I have loved spending time with them as they were growing up.
I also enjoy getting together with family and friends, ATVing in the mountains, photography, hiking, and traveling. I also enjoy reading, creating art, decorating, and serving others by volunteering.
Assisting couples in rebuilding their marriages has been so rewarding as I've had the privilege of seeing hundreds of couples reunite and get back to being positively connected to one another.
I also work with personal development and those who want to move forward by making positive improvements such as goal setting, self-care, boundaries, behavioral improvements, overcoming procrastination, conflict management, etc.