Have you heard about Colorado Relationship Coaching Online? Let me tell you a few stories about my experiences with this concept in real life.
Background:
During the worst part of the Covid season, many were struggling with trying to keep safe and at the same time needing some professional help with their lives and relationships.
At first, since most of my past work with couples was done in person in my office, I was rather skeptical about working with couples online. I wondered if it would really work and be as effective as meeting in person.
Happily, it didn’t take long to discover that indeed it worked very well with a few adjustments as we went along. In fact, at this point many people I work with actually prefer working together online.
When your relationship runs into difficult times and you aren’t sure where to turn, you will be pleasantly surprised to learn that this convenient way of working together often can work even better due to busy schedules and commitments.
Disillusionment:
After being together for a while, it is very common for couples to feel blindsided by problems that arise and their inability to solve them on their own.
As you likely remember fondly, when you were first together, you took the time and effort to plan fun times together. You also often were great at actually taking the time to not only listen but to try to understand your sweetheart.
After the newness wears off and things are not going that smoothly, it is quite common for couples to wonder if they married the wrong person. By that time the euphoric feelings are rarely there anymore but those dreaded yet necessary duties and responsibilities of life have to be completed by someone.
Couples relieved to find they didn’t marry the wrong person!
You may laugh to hear this, but I have heard this so many, many times in our coaching sessions! It actually can be a very painful time, but guess what, you each married another human being and these tips will help you get through this and many other stages!
Online Relationship Coaching is available to you at my website:
Additionally, my new self-study and self-paced Online Course, Marriage Miracle Essentials will be available within the next couple of months. It is supported with live weekly small group coaching. Check out my website for further details.
Family Histories:
During this period of life, suddenly the differences between your own growing up families’ ways of doing things often arises! In your new home environment, does everything need to be in its own place or are there messes everywhere and no “magic fairy” who swoops in and makes it all great again?
How do you pay the bills? What is the agreement about how much money either can spend without causing a big shortage when it is time to pay the bills, buy the groceries, fill up the vehicles, put money in savings, etc.?
How to Solve Differences:
Did your family openly discuss problems peacefully or not so peacefully?
Did each member of the family feel free to kindly state their ideas or opinions without becoming overly angry and upset if others had different opinions?
Or did these times get pretty loud and whoever shouted the loudest or became the most angry overruled others ideas? If this was the way one of you grew up, often that person becomes what I call “conflict avoidant.”
In those cases, this person does not feel safe to state their own different ideas and the person who is so angry and overpowering in their own way, often assumes everyone agrees with them as no one speaks up.
This can go on for years within a relationship and obviously is very unhealthy. While it is true that often an issue is not as important to one family member as it is to another. In those cases, as long as the rest of the group feel free to have their own decision making power, it all works out.
Practice self-awareness:
Sometimes because we are so used to our own thoughts and feelings we don’t give them much attention. However, as you instead begin to be more aware of your own thoughts, feelings and behaviors throughout the day you will learn how powerful changing them will be.
Learn your triggers and also keep reminding yourself of some of your successes. Remind yourself of how you are moving forward.
Notice when you engage in self-defeating behaviors and what triggers them. This will help you to understand yourself and your habits and begin to make positive and healthier changes.
Please consider the idea of using relationship coaching online. You will be glad you did. We all get so close to our own situations that it is hard to be objective and see things as they really are.
Use deep breathing and deliberately change your self-talk:
As I’m sure you know, we all talk to ourselves. You may notice you are being very hard on yourself and critical of yourself and others.
Next, see some affirmations you will likely find helpful.
Pick ones you can at least half believe about yourself and life!